Top 10 Noughties Things That No One Does Anymore1. Buying an imac

What once looked hopelessly modern now looks like a giant dustbin.

Skips all over the UK are full of rusting hulks of circuitry and blue plastic.

The imac was the chicest in design chic but now looks like a huge reject from a Star Wars film and it’s difficult to imagine how you could ever fit one into your flat. The last of the ‘big is better’ computers, it was was soon to be replaced by more powerful laptops and then iPhones and iBooks. If you ever see one now it looks like a head scratching and amusing antique instead of something uber modern from ten years ago.

2. Complaining about people using mobile phones on trains

It was the eternal conversation. Train leaves station and the phones flash up, ‘I’m on the train’ was all that everyone could think of saying…the most modern of technology already employed in the most mundane of conversations. In thrall to the new, hi tech people would ring each other from one table to another as well with the phones that have become netted up mini computers but were then walkie talkies you could put in your pocket.

3. Myspace

It was going to change the world. At one time every band was told to put its music onto myspace and ‘do an Arctic Monkeys’ forgetting that the Arctic Monkeys toured hard and had brilliant songs. For a brief couple of years bands spent hours adding thousands of friends manually to their Myspace page whilst everyone else ignored them. It soon became obvious that any band with 20 000 Myspace friends was a loser band and the digital tumbleweed soon blew in when Facebook took over and then Twitter.

Bizarrely a few hardy souls cling on in Myspace hoping to get discovered.

4. Posh Spice as style icon


5. End Of History

An intellectual conceit and a favorite neo con buzzword, The End of History and the Last Man is a 1992 book by Francis Fukuyama, expanding on his 1989 essay “The End of History?”, published in the international affairs journal “The National Interest”. The idea was that western neo liberal democracy had won the war of ideas and there was nowhere left to go…like all generalizations and certainties it was quickly found wrong.

6. Napster

The original end of the music biz model appeared like wild fire in 1999 and disappeared in 2001 as people got to grips with the internet. Initially record labels ignored it and then were soon on their knees as the implications soon set in, but typically of the net world it too was superseded by the more faceless prates and the digital wars continue to this day having a profound affect on the music business which is now unrecognizable compared to its early millennium pomp.

7. Big brother

First appeared in 2000 pretending to be some sort of TV as social experiment before becoming the staple for endless variations on the theme and inventing the notion of the ‘normal’ personas the star. The more they tweaked the formulae and deliberately turned it into a freak show of opposites the worse it got before it tumbled off the air only to be resurrected as some sort of dusty corner freak show for couch potatoes who have lost the TV controller in the folds of their stomachs years ago.

8. Live 8 And The Last Of The Millionaires Against Poverty Extravaganzas

On paper a great idea…the wealth imbalance in the world is always painful, but the sight of cardigan wearing multi millionaire rock stars playing the greatest hits for the starving millions had become either too obscene or too boring and the whole formulae started to peter out & the Live Aid model could not have the same impact any more.

9. The End Of Top Of The Pops

Most people are shocked that it actually staggered on until 2006 but the decades old pop show had run its course with international superstars ‘too busy’ to appear on the show, no one was watching and the fractured nature of pop culture also made it almost impossible to reflect the state of pop like some kind of cheesy barometer like it had done in the sixties and seventies. Since then pop and music on TV had been a marginal affair with hardly any mainstream shows tackling the surrounding musical culture.

10. David Sneddon and the Endless Roll Call Of X Factor and Fame Academy ‘Winners’

Millions of viewers and nearly all the media in the country could not carve out a career for the mundane talents dug up by the endless plethora of talent show series. Of course there were exceptions to the rule but there was also coach loads of losers joining the dole queue before the realisation set in that the programs were always about the judges more than the singers anyway and looking awkward and singing through an autotune were not enough to guarantee musical talent! The series are still popular but many of the winners are not even footnotes in history.

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Award winning journalist and boss of Louder Than War. In a 30 year music writing career, John was the first to write about bands such as Stone Roses and Nirvana and has several best selling music books to his name. He constantly tours the world with Goldblade and the Membranes playing gigs or doing spoken word and speaking at music conferences.


  1. What with the questionable tax conduct of certain folks to do with Live Aid and Live 8, it seems more ‘feed the world… just not with MY money’.

  2. What about alcopops? Before the appearance of acceptable cider and posh babysham (pear cider) was a golden age of Hoopers Hooch and Smirnoff Mules that all have disappeared, leaving WKD as the letching 40 year old whose friends all got married.

  3. The end of history thing (which was more of a 90s thing than a 00s) got popularly supplanted by clash of civilisations after 9/11, right at the start of the 00s


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