Sacha Baron Cohen to play Freddie Mercury in biopic
Sacha Baron Cohen to play Freddie Mercury in biopic

Apparently Queen’s ‘We Are The Champions’ has been found to be the catchiest song ever written, according to new scientific research. Scientists at Goldsmiths University conducted research into what makes a song memorable and compiled a list of the ten “catchiest” songs of all time, reports the Press Association. (Clearly a quiet news day)

In order to get the results, the scientist observed thousands of volunteers singing a selected list of tracks.

During the course of the research, they discovered that ”˜sing-along songs’ contain four key elements:

1. Long and detailed musical phrases,
2. Multiple pitch changes in a song’s ‘hook’,
3. Male vocalists,
4. Higher male voices making a noticeable vocal effort.

Using this formula, the scientists found that ‘We Are The Champions’ was the track most were able to sing along to. This was followed by ‘Y.M.C.A’ by the Village People, Sum 41’s ‘Fat Lip’, Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ and The Automatic’s ‘Monster’.

Scientists conducting research

Music psychologist Dr Daniel Mullensiefen said of the results:
Every musical hit is reliant on maths, science, engineering and technology; from the physics and frequencies of sound that determine pitch and harmony, to the hi-tech digital processors and synthesizers which can add effects to make a song more catchy.

LTW said ”“ have you ever heard such bollocks? Firstly have the scientists at Goldsmiths not got more pressing matters to research ”“ the list of the ten catchiest songs was drawn from a total of how many? Also the list predetermined which songs the subjects were to listen to, so might not include the songs the subjects themselves would freely consider. Who sponsored this so called research, Bland AOR FM I reckon…

And finally ”“ how the hell do you get a job title of music psychologist? Certainly doesn’t exist in the current UCAS information…

Based on the four key elements I reckon Crass ”˜Owe Us A Living’ should certainly make a top 3 entry! Any other suggestions?

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Phil Newall is 47, from The Wirral - he earns his living not writing about music nor playing music...though sorely wishes he could. He was fortunate enough to see many of the first generation punk bands when they played the U18's matinee shows at Eric's, Liverpool. As an attendee at Eric's he was exposed to punk rock, dub reggae, art rock, and all manner of weirdness; as a customer at Probe Records he was variously served and scowled at by Pete Wylie and Pete Burns - he has written for Record Collector, Whisperin & Hollerin, and Spiral Scratch and wanted to write a book detailing the Liverpool punk scene; however with 'Head-On' Julian Cope beat him to it...and frankly did a much better job.

12 COMMENTS

  1. Unscientific and unofficial research carried out by me over a number of years (with the often unwitting assistance of many of my friends) has proven conclusively that the catchiest tune ever is…

    …a tune that you don’t even have to hear. A tune which the very reading of the title will cause it to be stuck in your head for the rest of the day (at least), which will be fun at first, but will start to annoy you in a few hours. You will end up actually singing stuff like what you are having for your tea, to its simplistic but highly contagious chorus melody, and going “la la la la laa la” out loud while walking down the street.

    Read on if you don’t mind this happening to you.

    The catchiest tune ever written is “Part Time Punks” by TV Personalities.

  2. This is also assuming that these scientists have heard all the songs in the world ever and not just considered their favourites.

  3. Velvet Underground – I’m Sticking With You.

    I couldn’t get that out of my head when it was on an advert some years ago.
    I have avoided Loaded ever since …

  4. If “Sitting In The Sun ” By Cellophane Cloud isn’t catchier than this Brownsea island will win the next World Cup!

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