The nail-biting wait is over”¦ for the BBC that is. Jonathan Ross, their wayward lovechild, continued his successful rehabilitation back into the community with a clean sheet at the 2011 BAFTAs.

Resisting all temptation to ”˜do a Ricky Gervais’ this evening’s host kept things clean, respectable and most shockingly of all ”“ funny.

It was perhaps the only surprise on a night which saw bookies’ favourite ”˜The King’s Speech’ crowned ”˜Best Film’ and sweep the board with a total of seven awards including ”˜Best Actor’ Colin Firth; ”˜Best Supporting Actor’ Geoffrey Rush and ”˜Best Supporting Actress’ Helena Bonham Carter.

Having managed to at least find a pair of matching shoes, the kooky wife of Tim Burton pulled off the longest acceptance speech – forcing Wossy to prompt her off the stage.

David Fincher’s win for ”˜Best Director’ for ”˜The Social Network’ proved the only stutter on the night – ruining Tom Cooper’s and the Court of King Colin’s Royal Flush.

I’m a proud Brit, but seriously do we need to give the gongs for ”˜Outstanding British Film’ and ”˜Best Film’ to the same movie?

Absolutely we should honour our homegrown successes, but surely we have a duty to recognise a breadth of talent rather than put all our eggs into one basket, so to speak? It’s a crime, for example, that the host’s wife Jane Goldman was not shortlisted for her totally ”˜Kiss-Ass’ script.

Thank heavens for ”˜Four Lions’ and Chris Morris, who snubbed the opportunity to collect his nod for ”˜Outstanding Debut by a British Writer, Director or Producer’ in favour of a can of petrol and a Zippo lighter.

True to form, ”˜Black Swan’s’ Natalie Portman pirouetted to victory with the ”˜Best Actress’ award. Her powerhouse turn as a tortured prima ballerina is THE performance of the year. Still, if ”˜The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’s’ Noomi Rapace had got the chance to snarl an acceptance speech, it wouldn’t have disappointed.

Fittingly, the traditional look-back on all those in the industry who have recently passed away included tributes to Dennis Hopper, John Barry and the brilliant Pete Postlethwaite.

It was of apparent relief to new Fellow Sir Christopher Lee that he wasn’t included on the list.
“I’m grateful this isn’t a posthumous award unlike the great Stanley Kubrick,” wheezed the former bloodsucker, who at 88, is still making films.

More back-slapping abounded for JK Rowling and the makers of the ”˜Harry Potter’ films, which tonight were canonised as an ”˜Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema’. The decision to acclaim the seven-strong movie franchise which has been BAFTA-nominated 28 times, was a popular one with the audience – moving Ms Rowling to the point of tears.

For Brits, the BAFTAs was a jolly good show all-round.

Alternative Awards
”˜Worst Gracious Loser Face’ ”“ Miranda Richardson
”˜Calamity Jane Presentation Technique’ ”“ Rosamund Pike
”˜Wossy’s Joke of the Night’: “Any actor would give his right arm for James Franco’s role in Danny Boyle’s ”˜127 Hours.”
”˜Joke he should’ve ditched’: “Little Fockers, Little Fockers, Little Fockers.”


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