We all love Beyonce Ten of the best bums in rockhere at Louder Than War – and if we were at Glastonbury rather than in a proper concrete environment with sanitation we would certainly find the time to watch at least one of her songs tonight.

Of Beyonce’s many talents, her alleged use of butt-augmentation surgery is probably the one we hold closest to our hearts. So, in tribute to the Destiny’s Child siren, here are ten more of our favourite rock-related ass events.

1) We’ve all seen Iggy Pop’s ass. It’s not pretty, but he likes to show it to us all the time anyway. Back in 1977 he chose to give his rear a little boost by adding a fake horse’s tail. The drugs were better then, clearly.

2) Jarvis Cocker went from superhero to megahero when he chose to ‘review’ Michael Jackson’s ludicrous ‘Earth Song’ performance at the Brits ’96. Here it is again:

3) Brett Anderson is famous for slapping his own ass, of course. Just look at him on this Brits clip. The people in the posh seats didn’t know whether to rattle their jewellery or blush. His trademark stage move was also commemorated in song, you know, in the lyric: “Filmstar, shove it up your ass…”

4) Gosh, the air turned blue at Croydon Fairfield Halls in January 1965. Ask your mum if she remembers PJ Proby’s trouser-splitting adventures. And if she claims she doesn’t, show her this clip. She might have you sectioned, but the look on her face will be worth it…

5) Do you think Rod Stewart is sexy? What about Kenny Everett as Rod the Mod then? Phwoar… look at the ass on that!

6) You thought Queen would make it in here didn’t you? For ‘Fat-Bottomed Girls’? Wrong. Spinal Tap did it bigger and better with their ‘Big Bottom’. The boys would like to tell you about it…

7) Such was the state of USTV censorship in 1973 that we never got to see Marianne Faithfull’s bum poke through this backless nurses’s habit on Bowie’s ‘1980 Floor Show’ special. But sorely-missed genius guitarist Mick Ronson got an eyefull or two – see if you can see him cop a sly glance on this clip…

8) Remember when the Manics had their own toilets reserved at Glastonbury? We do. Memory is hazy, but we think we might have used them anyway. Here’s Nicky Wire to remind us why we shouldn’t be surprised that he enjoys first class train travel…

9) God bless Turbonegro. They’re interested in asses of all kinds – especially if they happen to be leather or denim clad. Any excuse to play some Scando-rock’n’roll. Pogo to this bum-beat boogie classic!

10: Thom Yorke: What an arse.

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  1. Very amusing! I was lured into this with my feminist shackles rising and you lured me into a trap. That was great.


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