We all love a goodÃÂ singalong.ÃÂ Especially when it’s tunes about bonking the dead and slaughtering children.ÃÂ Yeah?ÃÂ Behold, the results from a debauched voyage for the most gross-out lyrics, do feel free to croon along inÃÂ disgust and/or delight”Â¦
With tracks like ”ËFrantic Disembowelment’, ”ËI Cum Blood’ and ”ËAddicted to Vaginal Skin’ the American deathÃÂ metallersÃÂ are a favourite for fucked up lullabies. DISMEMBERED AND MOLESTED is a beautiful little ditty about climaxing on mutilated corpses.ÃÂ A karaoke classic.
”ËSever the limbs, decapitate. Yank out the teeth then masturbate.ÃÂ Pounding the face, ejaculate.’
But it’s the sentimental ”ËNECROPEDOPHILE’ that throws theseÃÂ sickosÃÂ to the top spot. ÃÂ Particularly the bit about ejaculating through the mouth of the child’s severed head.
”ËViolated after death.ÃÂ Virgin hole I infest.ÃÂ Anal pore spewing cess, the sacred juice Iinjest.ÃÂ Your dead child I defile,ÃÂ Necropedophile!’
GG ALLIN ”â EAT MY DIARRHEA
GG’s just ate a sleazy burger, and there’s NO FUCKING PAPER.ÃÂ The descriptions in the title.ÃÂ Yummy.
”ËEat myÃÂ diarrheaÃÂ you’reÃÂ chuggin‘ it down, you’reÃÂ suckin‘ my ass and your lips are all brown. I’mÃÂ gunnaÃÂ shit in your mouth, I’mÃÂ gunnaÃÂ shit in your face, your mouth, andwannaÃÂ shit on your mother. I’mÃÂ gunnaÃÂ shit on you and your mother.’
MISFITS ”â LAST CARESS
One to serenade your loved ones with”Â¦
”ËI got something to say, I killed your baby today, and it doesn’t matter much to me, as long as it’s dead. Well I got something to say, I raped your mother today, and it doesn’t matter much to me, as long as she spread.’
DEMENTED ARE GO ”â HUMAN SLUG
This one’s for all of you who have everÃÂ fellÃÂ in love with a sexy slug outside Tesco.ÃÂ No one, then?
”ËMy prettyÃÂ baby,ÃÂ wraps her clit around my head. She can really doÃÂ it,ÃÂ she can really do it good. She does it like she ought to, she does it like she should, and she’s got transparent eyes, like a human slug.’
AVENGED SEVENFOLD ”â A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN
She wouldn’t marry him, so he stabbed her fifty times and preserved her as a sex carcass. Dead girl returns and stabs him fifty times.ÃÂ Romantic.ÃÂ The heater on her thighs made me do a chortle.
”ËShe was never this good in bed, even when she wasÃÂ sleepin‘. Now she’s just so perfect, I’ve never been quite so deep in. It just goes on, and on, and on”Â¦’
KORN ”â KUNT
Any song with the opening line ”ËFuck youÃÂ tittyÃÂ suckin‘ two balled bitch with a fat green clit’ is definitely written by a scorned male. Yeah it’s bitter testosterone-fuelled dribbling, which is never fun, but check out the refined vocabulary! Wow!
”ËSaggy tits swinging between your fat crusty armpits, big ass hairy mole between your pussy lips.ÃÂ Fuck shit cock dick cunt ass barf piss.’
THE MACC LADSÃÂ – SWEATY BETTY
The kings of crude, with songs about shagging sheep andÃÂ spermyÃÂ shit, their un-PC lyrics would give Mary Whitehouse a seizure. This one’s about a lady with a huge vagina you could fit a bus inside.
”ËAfter ten pints, she looked quite fit, couldn’t wait to get my hands on her flabby tits. So I said, ”Ëslap that and ride the ripples, I just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples’. Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins, she was a mound of flesh.’
These repulsively righteous, morally rotten tracks are nothing, nothing, compared toIntense Hammer Rage. This is a bandÃÂ whoÃÂ had hundreds of copies of their CDs seized in house raids, a band so sick they were taken to court and fined. Their music is aÃÂ hellbowlÃÂ filled with gruel, snot, shit, rape and paedophilia. Songs like ”ËPrematureEjaculraper‘ and ”ËChoking on a Chocolate Log’ are actually their tamest. Have a listen, and no doubt you’ll reach the same conclusion as I did ”â what the FUCK is wrong with these guys?