Salford city council have banned swearing the public space. around Salford Quays – the home of BBC North and other developments.
The bizarre move throws up so many question marks that it’ squire laughable.
1. How exactly do you police this? If someone trips over a kerb and swears will the snatch squad grab them?
2. Why just Salford quays? Are the owners of all the penthouses in the area offended by the occasional passer bye ranting away? Why not the rest of Salford? Who owns these streets?
3. Can you swear at the boundary of Salford Quays? If so what if the wind blows the dread swear word over the boundary and into the sanitized area?
4. What actually constites a swear word? The word ‘fuck’? The word ‘Bollocks’ the words ‘Ian Duncan Smith’? Is there an official list of banned words – if so we would love to see it!
5. What about performers at the Lowry Centre or at the BBC ? What if they use a swear word as part of their act? Will they be arrested mid flow and marched out of Salford Quays and dumped in Salford where swearing is apparently ok?
6. Surely the very occasional person muttering a swear word under their breath is the least of Salford City Council’s problems…
7. Sleaford Mods won’t be playing there.
8. The Imperial War museum will have to be careful over its content – war is ok but naughty words are far worse…
9. Do the council have a swearing department and how will they police this? Will there be aforementioned snatch squads asking ‘excuse me sir I’m sure I heard you swear under you breath…’
10. Is the occasional swear word muttered on the streets the worst thing the planet faces on the edge of the Third World War, Donald Trumpf getting in power and fundamentalists running amok?