Johny Skullknucles And The Kopek Millionaires ‘Christmas Girl EP’ (JSK Records)
As hard as I try I can’t ignore it; only last weekend the major high street retailers unleashed their seasonal advertsing campagians – Cadbury had wrapped an entire street in their corporate colour, Ant & Dec cavorted with a brought to life gingerbread man in an effort to persuede you visit the local Morissson’s, whilst John Lewis offerred up a suitabley middle class animation set to the Lily Allen cover of the Keane track ‘Somewhere Only We Know’ as they suggested we should empty our bank accounts into their hungry tills – yep, Christmas is approaching as fast as Miley Cyrus can flash her no doubt soon to be seasonally deforated bits…
A visit to any of the remaining hmv stores reveals a rash of ‘Best Of’ compilations, many from bands whose ‘Best’ output would struggle to fill an average single; and in the background the bookmakers are about to release the odds for the much lauded Christmas No. 1; one track that is unlikely to feature in the bookies list is Johny Skullknucles And The Kopek Millionaires ‘Christmas Girl’ and that frankly is everyone’s loss – sounding like a glorious collision between Santa himself and a gaggle of Hanoi Rocks obsessives, huge dollops of gooey cheese, a rollicking dangerously catchy tune whilst Skullknuckles (tongue firmly in chiselled, no doubt rouge highlighted cheek!) releases an impassioned plea to the object of his desire “Will you be my Christmas girl oh my Christmas girl, I’ll give you my world if you’ll be my, Christmas girl my Christmas girl, You got my head in a whirl (Your such a beautiful girl)”
This has got the lot; sleigh bells, powering drums, an overtly simple guitar riff that instantly burrows into your brain, a bridge built around a mass sing-a-long; the entire track the musical equivalent to all your Christmas lights, the glitter, the chintz; its brash, its gaudy – it’s just over 2mins of a mainlined Christmas rush – what’s not to like?
So for those at Cryogenic Pop Stars.com tasked to gently warm Sir Cliff for his seasonal offering…quit now; we don’t need your lukewarm pop shite – for now we have an explosion of punk infused glam, a riotous Christmas head kick of sleazy rock n’ roll delight that will if you’re lucky see Skullknuckles coming down your chimney!!
Released in a glittering array of formats, but only available until December 25th – Buy the 4 Track CD Deluxe Edition and you get an extra 5th track and a cool free gift!