Gratuitous “10 reasons the new Radiohead album is shite” by Ged Babey

Radiohead Joiners2 by Dik NgWhilst LTW gave Radiohead’s new album a 10/10 review there were some dissenters…

A gratuitous 10 Reasons the new Radiohead album is shite… (just one man’s opinion)  by Ged Babey (Punk Throwback)

 

In his typical contentious style, after hearing “about five tracks on BBC Radio 6-Music” and being “sick of their hype already “Ged Babey launches an assault of Radiohead’s new album.  Is this the written equivalent of going to a 2016 Radiohead gig and shouting for ‘Creep’ ?

 

Radiohead used to be a good band… but listening to BBC 6-Musics evangelizing about the new album as if it was the soundtrack to the Second Coming ….got my goat, especially when after hearing a few tracks, it came over as so…. dull.

So, here are a hastily compiled Ten Reasons a Moon Shaped Poo is Shite …in my opinion…

 

1/.  It is just, patently, shite.  Dull, boring, self-indulgent, the Emperors New Clothes (dragged out of the Cliche Closet after a quick rub down).   Radiohead haven’t made a decent, listenable album since ‘OK Computer’. Y’know, one that ordinary people can appreciate; with tunes, choruses and silly little things like that.

 

2/. Thom Yorke has a terrible whiny voice. It’s not a shimmering, endlessly fascinating castralto  made by a choirboy fallen from heaven … it’s a high-pitched noise that grates.  Plus the surrounding music is so formless and gaseous that there’s nothing else to concentrate on.  The whine is inescapable…. like death.  If his voice is ‘like an instrument’ – then it needs tuning.

 

3/.  Radiohead have rejected Rock’n’Roll completely.  Which yes, should, may and can be a good thing… but it just isn’t in their case.  It’s replaced by jazz-y grimey, whiny, glitchy, twitchy, tuneless, hook-free, amorphous globules of muzak-musick nu-sick art-wonk.

 

4/. Any actual social commentary, or considered protest or actual anger in the lyrics are so heavily encrypted as to be completely obliterated.

 

5/.  They even give Prog Rock  a bad name, because they don’t really progress and they don’t rock.

 

6/. They are completely humourless. (Or if there is humour in there it’s so oblique and masked in pretension that it’s untranslatable….and not funny.)



Ok, scrub number six if this is how they deal with illegal uploads!!!

7/. The after-taste of listening to  Radiohead is pure misery.  They are the sound of wallowing in self-obsessed, self-absorption.  Not that this is necessarily a bad thing.  Plenty of good, sad music explores the darkness, but it has to be tempered with some hope, some light, some black humour, some sheer redemptive power and exorcism of noise… something other that itself. Limp, lifeless and boring.

The very best review of the album I’ve read is by Noah G aka N Grizzle, aged 10, on his mum’s Facebook page:

noah G by Kirsten G

Noah G giving a neither thumbs up nor thumbs down

“Mummy, I’ve listened to the new Radiohead album. I like some of the songs. But on most of them I just don’t think they’re really trying very hard. It’s like they’re bored and not very happy with their life”.

He started a track-by-track assessment…

‘The Numbers’ …

‘It sounds like s chill out Ibiza song, but with reindeers’

‘Present tense’ ….

‘It’s like they’re doing a Spanish salsa dance whilst grating cheese’

Then he fell asleep.   Out of the mouths of babes. (Thanks Noah, you are a seer and a truth-teller. )

 

8/.  Tom Yorke needs a haircut.  He’ll soon resemble Neil the Hippy or Willie Nelson.   Remember that great blonde back-combed bouffant he once had?  That was cool.

 

9/.  Even mixing orchestration, electronics and a bit of acoustic guitar has not lifted this album out of the Emperor’s New Clothes rut they have been in since the shit album after Ok Computer.

 

10/.  I was a fan of Radiohead. I loved the first three album and accompanying singles/EPs.   Now though, they seemed to have reached the point of no return.  They have journeyed so far up their own backsides I don’t think they’ll ever make a good album again, unfortunately. Which is a shame.

Or maybe it is me. That because I don’t ‘get it’, because I’m not cerebral or clever enough or in-tune with all the nuances and intelligence within their art, that Radiohead make me feel like a dullard, a philistine…. nah!

 

Feedback welcomed in the Comments – but try and make any disagreement witty …   and remember it is possible to Mean It Man, Take the Piss and Not Give a Shit, All-At-The-Same time, which is my standpoint in this case.

 

All words  Ged Babey with additional material by Noah G ( aka N Grizzle).

Photo -Dik Ng (for Between Planets)  Radiohead at the Joiners circa 1992 reproduced with kind permission. 

Ged Babey’s opinions are his own and not necessarily shared by others at Louder Than War… In fact some of them think he’s a complete twat and disassociate themselves from him completely. 

 

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20 comments on “Gratuitous “10 reasons the new Radiohead album is shite” by Ged Babey”

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  1. hard to argue with that
    self indulgent wankery

  2. Louder Than War finally descends onto The Sun journalism.

    Poorly written (excused as punk grammar no doubt) and merely a dig at a group Mr Bebey clearly dislikes.

    A look at RadioGed’s other articles reveal piss poor writing and why LTW is fast becoming a laughing stock amongst music publications.

    ‘We are punk’? – sadly no more.

  3. So you only listen to “five tracks on a radio” and then write this? It’s a joke. Terrible spelling and grammar this site is slowly descending into farce. Think you need a few lessons in how to write as this is appalling.

  4. Carol Vorderman

    In summary, your reasons for not liking Radiohead’s new album are:

    1. You think it’s “shit”.
    2. You don’t like Thom Yorke.
    3. They’re too experimental now. You liked them when they were a Nirvana covers band.
    4. You’re too thick to work out the lyrics. You want to someone draw you a picture.
    5. See 3.
    6. See 4.
    7. This bit was funny, but stolen from a child on Facebook.
    8. See 2.
    9. See 3.
    10. See 3.

    You need an editor, not only because you write like a child with Downs, but because you haven’t got a single clue in your tiny head.

  5. Brilliant. About time someone stood up to the emperor’s new clothes. At one time music writers dared to stand up to the dull consensus. Articles like this make Louder Than War easily the best music site – daring to actually say something instead of blindly being told what to write about a band that is now all about marketing and not about the music – the PR people creating the ultimate middle class we dream. Again congrats are due to Ged.

  6. What’s a “castralto”?

  7. I think having opinions is perfectly fine and acceptable, but the internalising conflicts in the public eye is amateurish and childish – not least because one would expect these opinions to be written in a coherent fashion and by a journalist rather than a keyboard warrior.

    I suppose the real question here is: who is Ged Babey, a man so self-aggrandizing he included his name in the piece title? More importantly: why should anybody care?

    One can only hope that this shockingly poor piece is the result of the 50-year-old’s senile dyslexia. Otherwise I think Louder Than War have a lot of explaining to do over why they would allow somebody of neither substance nor skill to ever lift a pen for their publication.

  8. Well, it appears Radiohead fans are as charmless and humour-deficient as the band.

    Radiohead are exceptionally, preternaturally, almost herocially dull. They are the sound of inelegant solipsism, the overqualified sociology graduate who gets fired from a call centre but blames it on the job being beneath him. The people who go to gigs and sneer at the crowds of people enjoying themselves rather than standing at the back and appreciating’ it. The people who read Umberto Eco books they don’t enjoy just so they can tell people they have.

    There’s more soul in a 15 second clip of a Taylor Swift video then in the whole ‘multimedia Radiohead experience’ these days.

    No offence, but you joyless dicks and the band that sunshine forgot are welcome to each other. Rock n’roll is a broad church and every congregation has it’s people you try to avoid.

  9. ADRIAN BARRETT

    Not a fan of bands pushing the envelope then?
    So Miles Davis doing Bitches Brew was a no no?
    John Lydon moving onto Pil?
    I’ll hazard a guess that you don’t like Albert Ayler?
    I advise you to stick to Oasis.Nice and safe.

  10. Keith Goldhanger

    I’d love to be in a band and make an album that winds people up as much as this.
    Blimey, some of us don’t have the time to keep up and shout about the great stuff out there.

  11. Glad someone came out and said it…

    Radiohead are just not that good are they?

    Slick marketing to make the Guardian readers feel that they are a cut above by owning something ‘ground breaking’ to be placed twice before being forgotten about until the next album. Bedwetting music for people who sleep in a hammock.

  12. Christ…. mocking kids with downs…moaning about journalistic abilities on the comments of an article that is clearly marked as one man’s opinion…..the irony of calling the author a keyboard warrior, from a keyboard (or possibly an iphone).

    I won’t listen to this album as I just don’t care…its not my kind of music, but some of the comments left here are a joke. Sickening how seemingly intelligent people mock spelling and grammar when they have no argument. And now I’ve joined in this shit parade of stupid comments on a radiohead article. Cheers for that…bloody students.

    • I love Radiohead. I also agree 100% with Richytheturd. He has a really bad name and should think seriously about his life but his comments are spot on.

  13. Richard Emery

    The number of people complaining about this article’s spelling, grammar and coherence with comments which are badly spelled and in places unintelligible is hilarious.

    Let’s all have a chorus of “Burn the heretic!”

  14. I think we take ourselves too seriously. I loved U2 then after Achtung Baby, a great album, decided that without hearing another album, I’d heard enough U2. Bands change, they move on. If they don’t then what is the point? People will join them, people will move on. I don’t blame anybody for loving The Bends and hating Amnesiac. They are totally different. I love Radiohead because they move on, they challenge our expectations, they make the music that moves them and if their traditional fan base doesn’t move with them, then at least they have been honest. If nobody buys their records, it is they that will suffer, not an individual that should surely have more to think about than a collection of songs with which to define their lives.

  15. Never heard any of their stuff before. Watching them on TV at Glasto 2017.

    What a splendid load of utter tripe.

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