When Idles were missing from the Glastonbury line up in 2017 Keith Goldhanger threw a bit of a strop, still had a great time and was as tearful as everyone else gathered at The Park Stage during this years event when they finally got to play.
Now the dust is out of his hair, the nights are drawing in and the scramble for tickets begins he’s decided to compile a list of Ten bands* he expects to see at Glastonbury 2020 who have never played the festival before.
* OK then …Twenty five.

September 2019.

We’re not claiming we know how all this music industry stuff works here. It’s just that on mentioning more than once that there are a number of bands that at least one of us would have liked to have had a little dance to around Worthy Farm in June 2019 the naming of names was requested. Bands that have still yet to grace Somerset during the best weekend in June need revealing. Bands that one hopes (and predict) may appear on the same stages we stood around at this years event and therefore need listening to now so we can learn all the words and work out our little special dances to. The list has grown quite large the longer it was thought about, most of these bands may not make it that far of course and some may appear at other festivals that are not Glastonbury. This is all guess work, we’ve not included any bands that have already played in the past and no doubt at least one will be discovered to have already appeared. We didn’t research this bit, life is too short and we like getting emails when we get things wrong. You can come and have a go at us in a years time if none of them play and your own expectations below in the comments are welcome. Deep breath ….. here’s the play list …….

Bands we might get to see make their debut at Glastonbury 2020…….

1) When Young – Peel stage, Park Stage or The Williams Green stage early afternoon one imagines. This Irish band already have a great album under their belts and hopefully by the time next summer arrives we’ll all be singing along to these tracks whist splashing around in our wellingtons.

2) Audiobooks  – As with most of the list below one feels it could be an early afternoon slot on The Williams Green stage. This is a band that will divide people more than The Rhythm Method have managed. Two or three more ‘hits’ and the rest of world will love them.

3) Husky Loops – anywhere at anytime will do at the 2020 festival just so they can get acclimatised for that dream Park Stage headline slot in three or four years time.

4) Hotel Lux – The Hell Stage and/or The Williams Green stage would be perfect for this south London band. (Lets just take it as red that if any of this list happens it’ll probably be on the Williams Green stage).

5) Blanck Mass – Anywhere late at night would be ace (it’d probably be in The Croissant Neuf stage on Wednesday evening knowing our luck but anywhere will do) – However surely if this was ever going to happen it would have happened by now wouldn’t it ?

6) Average Joe – West Holts (bar) or Avalon stage would be the ideal place for Joe who would probably bring a bus load of people and their families providing the musical accompaniment instead of a mobile phone pumping out the backing tracks as witnessed when we first crossed paths.

7) Phobophobes – They’ll be on one of those small stages no one can ever find and everyone will be saying on Sunday night that they’d been there.

8) The Rhythm Method – It’ll either be the Pyramid Stage mid afternoon or possibly in a gap in the hedge along the old railway line and ten o’clock on Thursday morning. Those there will love it, everyone will be dancing and singing along. The rest of the festival will be either erecting their tents or still queuing up to get in.

9) Pom Poko – From Norway would wake anyone up and get the adrenaline flowing if they were to appear. Once anyone sees this band they just want to return therefore an enthusiastic crowd will gather if this was to happen.

10) Benin City – Wow Stage, West Holts stage, Avalon Stage, any stage at any time of the day would certainly be a hit for any first timers standing attentively whilst clutching hold of a strong cider.

11) Park Hotel – Another band one could imagine appearing on any of the stages available but we need some more tunes from them.

12) Wooze – This South London/Korean band seem to be playing everywhere anyway therefore a Glastonbury performance has to happen in 2020 we’d imagine.

13) Girl Band – This Irish four piece on The Other stage during a heatwave (it’ll be Williams Green though just like all the others) would be a bold move but a decision that some of us would applaud hugely.

14) The Murder Capital – Strummerville or Peel stage (and/or any other stage available). This is a band the same people will want to see that flocked into every nook and cranny Fontaines DC occupied during the 2019 festival.

15) Dry Cleaning – Another band many people will be split down the middle over. Many people will be keen on seeing this London four piece by next summer and come will go along out of curiosity and probably realise they’ve been listening to them for months.

16) Crows  – Time for this band to grace the Peel stage one lunchtime.

17) Fur – Another band that may be hugely poplar by the time next summer arrives.

18) Plastic Mermaids – Surely the start of many appearances at this festival will begin in 2020.

19) Psychedelic Porn Crumpets  – Because everyone wants to be able to say they’ve seen a band called Psychedelic Porn Crumpets

20) Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs  – As above

21) Superorganism – where were they this year ? They’ve never played Glastonbury therefore the Pyramid stage or Other stage in 2020 has to be a shoe in.

22) Insecure Men – They’ve gone a bit quiet recently but that maybe due to all the other bands the individuals are part of.

23) Warmduscher – because they’re ace and the band members all seem to be in another great bands that may appear too.

24) Crewel Intentions  – As above, however whatever happened to them ?

25) Supertramp – Roger Hodgson playing solo on a Sunday afternoon hopefully not clashing with any of the above.

We’ll stop at 25 and sit back for the rest of the year to begin working on what we’ll expect in 2021 for any one not interested in seeing Coldplay again, Paul McCartney again, Muse again, U2 again,The Killers again, Radiohead again or Depeche Mode ……er hang on …..that’s 26 we’ve come up with now.

Right then …..tickets……………..

………………………………………………………………………………………Oh Shit.

Words by Keith Goldhanger. More writing by Keith on Louder Than War can be found at his author’s archive. You can also find Keith on Facebook and Twitter (@HIDEOUSWHEELINV).

1 COMMENT

  1. Some good choices, Girl Band in particular, but I’d give them all a miss if Ist Ist were on! After missing out last year I fortunately got a ticket for 2020.

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