‘[UKIP] is full of fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists’ – David Cameron. Ian Critchley doesn’t feel comfortable agreeing with Dave but just this once he’ll force himself.

Once again I find myself completely blown away by the acute skill of Davey C’s speech writers. Never before has there been such a crack team with such a grasp of the King’s language, so much so that they’d be making Shakespeare piss his ridiculous pants if that poor bugger wasn’t already four hundred year old worm food. Though in all honesty I wouldn’t be surprised if this great one liner came straight from the horse’s mouth and, at the risk of ‘siding with the enemy’, I have to agree.

But many people don’t seem to feel this way and are supporting UKIP with the whole of their heart, giving their souls to Mein Fuhrer Farage, allowing the party to sweep up “a quarter of the votes in the council elections” (i, 04/05/2013) and giving credo to the ‘four party political battle’ theory, though the LibDems only really became the third again by morphing the party into a political algae, latching to the Conservatives shark belly and feeding off them to survive.

The ‘one policy’ UKIP seem to be getting success for exactly that, a ‘strong stance on immigration’ has tossed them a plethora of votes from racists both toffee nosed and knuckle dragging. What the knuckle draggers don’t seem to realise is that UKIP give as much of a fuck about them, with Tory-esque stances on work and benefits, as they do about the Polish. The more narrow minded minimum wagers wishing for a white 2013 Xmas would be far better off voting BNP, a party that gives a crap about ‘workers rights’ even if it is only for people who are paler than ‘Pepper Dust’ on the Dulux colour chart.
John Curtis, writing for i (I quote that paper so much because I can actually afford it), gave this little nugget of insight into the situation, ‘As anticipated, given its socially conservative stance on everything from gay marriage to immigration, the party typically did best in places where pensioners are plentiful and university graduates thin on the ground.'(i, 04/05/2013)

This makes it sound like all students are foreign, and huge musical theatre fans, whereas anyone over sixty-five is a racist homophobe. The latter may be true if we look at the outrage from Gordon Brown calling Gillian Duffy a ‘racist old bigot’ back in 2010, causing the fat greasy Scotsman’s political suicide. ‘All she asked was when are you going to sort this country out? someone said to me yesterday. ‘Well, no’ I replied, ‘it was more along the lines of ‘when are you getting rid of all these damn pakis?’But instead of getting a knighthood for being the most honest politician, if only by accident, since US senator George McGovern he was instead strapped with lead weights and thrown head first into the Thames.

What Farage comes across as, essentially, is the booby prize for Tories feeling disconnected from the party since the fresh faced Davey C’s arrival on the scene. Gay marriage is a great example, UKIP seem to be pretty opposed to two men (or women) tying the knot whereas Cameron once said, “I don’t support gay marriage in spite of being a conservative. I support gay marriage because I am a conservative”, even it was only so he could make his relationship with Nick Clegg more legit.

Cameron’s somewhat liberal attitude, or at least in terms of Tory mentality, has caused a lot of Conservative familiars to shift to the hard-right UKIP. And when they become detached from those buggers they’ll go in search of greener pastures and a political party that lies to the right of Genghis Khan.

So the UKIP steam roller ploughs on, but maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. It may very well result in both Labour and Conservative teaming up to topple the Farage regime. Much like Spiderman once joined sides with his arch-nemesis Venom to fight the greater evil of Carnage, Miliband and Cameron may pair to tackle the maniacal lust for power that oozes from the pores of UKIP’s head honcho. I really hope this does happen so that, finally, we might see some actual pragmatism and teamwork in modern politics.


All words by Ian Critchley. More work by Ian Critchley on Louder Than War can be found here.


  1. I’m voting UKIP, as is my black Brazilian missus.

    As far as I’m aware, neither she nor my two mixed race sons think I’m a racist or a xenophobe.

    Funny old game.

  2. Serioulsy “He’s Spartacus”.. trying to debate the issue with somebody who is mind controlled, is a waste of time. Why? Because the writer (is it John Robb under another name) is into the vision of the United States of Europe and after that the One World government. (A vision shared by Adolf Hitler, Ted Heath and Mrs Thatcher… so.. don’t believe the fake left wing stance.)
    To achieve this United States of Europe, a process of what the Labour party calls “Social Engineering” must take place, and this is mass immigration.
    If people object to the changes in society brought on by mass immigration, they get a dose of the Accusation Industry. People who uphold the “Accuse People of Being Racist so they are scared to debate the issues” like to create a climate of fear. Sadly this means that REAL racism, does not get stamped out.

    We all know that we are heading towards a United States of Europe. People are voting UKIP to try and slow up the process. That’s all that is happening.
    But as for trying to get a member of the “accusation industry” to stop yelling “you’re a Daily Mail reader” in a hysterical fashion, is a waste of time, because they are absolutely mind-controlled to scream and threaten anyone who doesn’t agree with their particular brand of facism, which oddly, pretends to the Marxist. Funny old world indeed.

    • I’m not John Robb or a Marxist. I’m happy to debate whatever you like and I’ve never said I wasn’t. If people want to complain about migration they have as much right as I do to complain about them being fuck heads. I’m not trying to silence anyone’s voice and I don’t say once that I believe they should be. You’ve gone off on some mad political rant comparing me to Hitler in Communist clothing with absolutely nothing to back that other than your Alex Jones influenced horse-shite. I’m happy to debate whatever you like. I think mass-immigration is great.

  3. And its going to get even funnier when the members of the Accusation Industry “You Racist Daily Mail Reader” screamers….. lock horns with “You are all Infidels.. you must be burnt alive…” screames. That really is gonna party like its 1999… The rest of us will be looking to the Left and then looking to the Right… left again.. right again… as these two hysterical groups on society get going.. But the problem is.. NEITHER of them want any sort of debate… do they? Neither of them want to face any sort of reality. The woman who was named “a bigot” by Gordon Brown, wanted to debate with him, something that was on her mind.. She was depicted both by Brown, and also by the writer of this article as a racist bigot. And that is all the screaming bully boys of the accusation industry care about , as they do their version of the Nazi goose-step over people’s right to question, debate, ponder… Anyone who closes down a debate, has no integrity. And they are terrified of the expression of integrity in others, so they drown it out by their accusatory screams, and pretence of a left wing stance. In reality, the left allowed people to debate. That was the point of socialism, partly wasnt it? To give all people in society a voice? To educate people past the age of twelve, give them the chance to think, analyse and debate? Rather than to make them stand up for hours in a factory to make others rich? And now the so called left, is reduced to the screamings of the accusation industry, as demonstrated in this article above. Its sad. Mrs Gaskell, Engels, the ancient chartists of Manchester must be turning in their graves. .

  4. The thing is, Spartacus. The BNP have a member is Sikh (see here http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/georgepitcher/100026447/a-sikh-joins-the-bnp-and-another-sikh-writes-this/). Are you going to tell me that based on that THEY’RE not racist. I don’t care if your lady is Black. It really doesn’t have anything to do with racism. Black people can be racist too. By your admission a Black person who hates, say, Indians based on their race isn’t racist simply because they’re Black? I really don’t get your argument.

    A lot of the people who voted Hitler in weren’t necessarily racist, just misguided.

  5. Nice one. But is it not worth mentioning the increased popularity of the green party as the alternative vote for the left?

  6. Whenever I see Farage and his followers on TV I can’t escape the feeling that there are a hell of a lot of villages missing their idiots.

    Any fringe party can offer the Earth because they know they’ll never have to deliver. Once in a generation it goes awry though, witness the Lib Dems and their posters saying they wouldn’t raise tuition fees which each MP signed. But UKIP aren’t even close to that.

    Ian you make some great points, this is a very good read. I’ll gloss over the fact that you’re not a Marxist, that’s how good it is!


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