Do you feel that you have been cheated? A rant at U2 live at ‘Glasto’

Do you ever feel you have been cheated?

There will be a mighty roar when the dark prince Bono takes to the Glastonbury stage this evening- like a choreographered rally thankfully punctuated by the UK UNCUT protestors waving the placards of doom at the showbiz monolith U2 winning the war in the law of averages.

We will stand there, dumbfounded, soaked in Bono’s vile sweat as the clown prince of Jesus Rock stalks onto the stage in his midget heels, with his God hard on and back pocket stuffed with business cards from the Bush family and I will be left wondering just where it all went wrong, knowing that the Wombles are not only sexier but more rock n roll than his band.

Somehow, as a rancid schoolboy, I was conned by the great froth mouthed, amphetamined sex beast known as punk rock into believing that I was going to be part of some sort of stink breathed, gakk infested, terror monkey stukka diving assault onto the vile and badly haired pop mainstream.

For a few brief months I took the beatings on behalf of the skinny trousered punk rock uberlords as I stalked the beer washed streets of my windswept hometown of Blackpool where anti punk violence was an Aperitif before the main course of lard soaked fish and chips.

It was worth it because I felt like I was on the barricades for some sort of revolution collecting bruises was all part of the punk rock experience as much as collecting seven inch singles.

Imagine my shock and disappointment when I realised that all this was for nowt. And that all we were doing was paving the highway for the likes of U2 to launch into their huge international taking the piss philanthropist carrier by bolting together the genius guitar of John McGeogh (god bless his brilliant soul) the bass lines of Lord Peter Hook and the Combat rock chic of our beloved Clash.

They then worked hard and grinned like Christians in an orgy and became the biggest band in the world that no-one really loved.

It all felt very wrong but the Americans made them superstars and their admittedly okey dokey songs sold out the stadiums that superior bands would not even be allowed to piss on.

This all came rushing back to me when I heard that the band were to be playing Glastonbury and that somewhere in the middle of all that mud and expensive Wellington boots there would be the most hideous shrieking since Sting was told that he was not an ‘interlektual’.

The thought that Bongo and his cloth eared Afrika corpse corps would be stukka diving Glass Stoned Bury and entertaining the backstage great unwashed micro celebs who would be leaving their expensive portacabins that are larger and more comfortable than your flat for a glimpse of the pint sized messiah was too much to bear. The micro celebs and their jolly hockey sticks good friends the Eton Rifle Tories will be glorying at the side of the stage, dancing like accountants at a Christmas party whilst on their mobile phones as the band launch into their ill gotten booty of hits whilst I unleash my lunatic fringe and spray-paint the computer screen with spittle and furious words in a spray gun of molten word jism of AK! AK! AK! AK47 adjectives that somehow fail to capture my dissolution with my utterly wasted youth as I realise with a sickening curse that…

U2 made punk rock a waste of fucking time.

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Award winning journalist and boss of Louder Than War. In a 30 year music writing career, John was the first to write about bands such as Stone Roses and Nirvana and has several best selling music books to his name. He constantly tours the world with Goldblade and the Membranes playing gigs or doing spoken word and speaking at music conferences.


  1. Nothing punk or interesting about Glastonbury, never was. Plenty of U2, Coldplay, Kaiser Chiefs fans will have a nice time. The best idea though, is, don’t go.

  2. Calm down dear! Punk Rock was only a waste of time for those who strayed off the path. It’s alive, well & truly alive, never to die as long as we still believe in the power of (Punk) rock & roll! ;-)

  3. Funny and abrasive pieceo because you’re not stopping at having a go at Bongo but having a go at yourself for ever believing in the punk myth. It certainly IS a myth that like the safety pins and ripped jeans didnt last long in ‘inspired’ before becoming ‘off the shelf attitude’ and that’s where it remains.
    Bongo is a bore but his bore has occasionally and usefully hit the spot. Despite ostensibly promoting himself into Lennon territory (another mythical arena) he did the whole of Ireland a favour when he called out the failed revolutionary mission of IRA brutality in their USA fundraising heartlands back in the 80’s..frankly nobody else had the balls at that point because it was like going to Sicily and calling out The Mob. Amnesty International can say that his self-promotion to Jesus also did them a few favours too. There are other examples of where you just have to let Bongo be Bongo and take the payoff.

    The tax issue is a good one to call HIM out on and it’ll be interesting to see how he deals with it but the real issue there was the self-domiciling of multitudinous artists, musicians, writers and corporations in Ireland’s tax-free zone of the 90’s and their leaving without leaving anything behind.
    The real villains are the grey-boy politicos who swapped paperbags full of backhanders at race meetings and are still there.

    Rather than look at Bongo as some kind of enemy, look at him as kindred and see what tat he has for your tit. He will have something. Try to smile. It’s only punk rock

  4. I had a girlfriend once who liked to fuck to her favourite albums.

    I discovered that ‘Trout Mask Replica’ was always good for some interesting shag-antics.

    Unfortunately, one of her other favourite albums was ‘Boy’ by U2.

    I could never get it up for that one.

  5. Without meaning to be rude, I feel impelled to say what a load of vacuous twaddle.

    The real reason people think they don’t like U2 is that they have been subtly manipulated by the mainstream media to think like that over the last ten years.

    This always happens when bands become ‘too big’ i.e. beyond the reach of the mind manipulating British press. You mention Sting too. Personally, I am not keen on his music, but it’s funny that artists of any discipline, in supposed positions of power and influence who attempt to use it for good always become the butt of ill informed ridicule.

    I quite weird really. I very much enjoy your writing. I find it refreshingly honest, and devoid of any attempt to fit into any version of current ‘cool’ thought. On this subject though, you seem to have lost what I think is termed as ‘Critical thought’

    What would you do with all that fame and money? Do you know? Hmm, there are an average of
    90,000 people coming to our shows now. We sell millions of albums. We get inside millions of people’s heads.

    These people were not educated to deal with these things. What would you have them do, pretend
    they were still skint and expressing emotions that are the concerns of teenagers, or attempt
    to deal with being in the unique situation that they find themselves as middle aged men?

    The only band yet in history who formed as young boys, stayed together in their original line-up and still get on. Constantly trying new things without a thought of being ‘hip’ Do you really think Brian Eno would be so involved with a bunch of wankers? I don’t.

    Or is Rock/pop music only for young people? Bollocks, that perception was an old man’s invention in the first place. As I’m sure you are aware the ‘teenager’ was a corporate invention to suck the wages out of the pockets of the first generation who didn’t have to face National Service in the late 1950s.

    Anyway, what about the music? Well, let me offer you a hypothetical situation.

    You go into a small club. Some 4 piece band you have never heard of comes on and plays the following songs that you have never heard. No big production, no millions of overdubs, just the basics, singer, guitar, bass and drums

    beautiful day
    Sunday bloody Sunday
    New Years Day
    I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight
    Stand Up Comedy
    Moment of Surrender
    Electrical Storm
    Pride (In the Name of Love)
    Get On Your Boots
    With or Without You

    Do you think that you would walk out thinking ‘What a pile of shite’?

    Anyway, I hope you enjoy Glastonbury and hopefully get an invite to the after-show party with the Wombles,

    love and peace or else, Dave xx

    • Dave…when you start a rant with “without meaning to be rude” and then a few words later launch into a list of remarks like “vacuous twaddle” it seems odd. Obviously you did mean to be rude, so…?

    • Dave,

      Are you Bono? what’s this stuff about ‘we’ sell millions of albums!?
      Also if there is one band the media is manipulated into loving it’s U2.

    • I quite liked U2 in the early 80s – ‘Boy’, ‘October’, even ‘The Unforgettable Fire’, when they started getting big, ‘New Year’s Day’, ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’ etc … and a few select tunes since, like ‘One’…

      and, when all and sundry were criticising Bono’s ‘save the world’ stuff, I used to defend him, saying ‘at least he’s trying to use his position to change something’…

      but the tax avoidance and the pomposity & hypocrisy now just totally grates, and that Glasto show tonight was cringeworthy. the guys can undoubtedly play, but those ‘samples’ by Bono of lines from other bands like The Clash, Primal Scream, Joy Division… who are they trying to kid?

      The UK Uncut protest should’ve been allowed to happen, the Beeb’s telly coverage should’ve shown it, and Jo Whiley or Zane Lowe should’ve asked them about it in the interview afterwards – not addressing it smacks of a cover-up of multi-national proportions…

    • @The Amplifier – not sure that I agree with you. Dave says “these people were not educated to deal with these things..” which I think translates as “these poor guys from U2 cannot afford financial advice and can’t grasp the basics…simple country folk dontchaknow..?”
      Dave’s a comedian right?

  6. Brilliant piece of writing. Spot on. Can’t stand whimsy christian rockets like Cliff and U2 and don’t even fey mr started on U2 tax dodging.

  7. I thought that was excellent writing “somehow as a rancid schoolboy, I was conned by the great front mouthed amp…etc..” Built up quite an image..

    But John, Christians don’t grin at orgies. They bring a guitar and sing hymns to the beat of the humping hips.. if you ever have a religious conversion and then go to Drama Student reunion at Goldsmiths, you will need to be prepared for this..

    just a small point…

  8. And now as a rancid tosser you are still full of illusion. The real punk attitude is not one that can be appropriated with John Robb as Jesus. Your punk rock is a lost faith of something that never was yours the first place. Your views are so predictable and your idea that Adam Clayton sounds anything like Hooky and the Edge plays like McGeogh shows you know naff all about what goes on what you play bass and guitar. Stick to the commentary JR the John Motson of punk

    • Some mad comments on here, Dave a few comments above sounds like he is Bono! and davdevalle everyone knows that U2 robbed Joy Division and the Edge nicked his guitar sound from the Great Banshee man as well as keith Levene.
      If anything I think John Robb was letting them off the hook in his rant.

      • Bono said to Tony Wilson he was going to take up the Curtis mantle after the suicide. So it wasn’t robbing. Edge Levene and McGeogh play very differently harmonically and sonically. Mcgeogh was bad prog guitar in the plodding Magazine and Levene ripped off Gang of Four Andy Gill. You know what you know but I expect you are some youngster who has imbibed the revisionist shite from self-appointed keepers of the punk flame- yawn. You are the Andy Gray of punk

        • So Bono saying to Tony Wilson that he was going to take Ian Curtis’s mantle after the suicide’ is your proof that U2 didn’t rob Joy Division’s sound? er, how does that work?
          They also got the same producer.
          Edge, Levene and McGeogh all have the chiming guitar sound. McGeogh was nothing like prog.

          God knows how Levene managed to rip off Andy Gill when Levene was playing like that in the Clash in 1976 and Pil’s first single was before Go4.

          Unfortunately I am not a youngster and it is you who sound like a self appointed punk expert but knows nothing.

          • Slow down there Andy….Facts are Curtis, the stupid bugger as Wilson said with no help from his mates, wife, or medical profession lost himself in punk darkness. So saying you are going to do something and doing something with Hannett is not robbery and he only one session.
            GoF Facts Armalite Rifle June 1978. PIL formed May 1978 and called themselves PIL in

            Playing like that in the Clash? Get a grip he sounded nothing like that in that band. I was there too. McGeogh nothing like prog – you need to check get out from under the floorboards mate and open your ears You ears are in a punk glaze.

            If you must know- Edge sound came from the fact that A gibson explorer has a crap neck and Clayton played down the neck, totally opposite to Hooky who played up the neck. Edge probably got more from Hooky in melody and Will Sargeant.

            Sure McGeoch who’s style varied was in the same place as all of them were using the digital effects.
            Check your facts.

          • I’m not sure if you are still hungover from last night but it really is you who needs to check your facts ‘Robbie Savage of punk’!
            Not sure what this means

            ‘doing something with Hannett is not robbery and he only one session.’

            Hannett didn’t want to work with them is what I heard at the time.

            Gang of Four first single was released December 1978 the first Pil single was released October 1978- so you are wrong again.

            I’m not even sure why Gang Of Four are in this conversation- theor guitar sound is nothing like Pil’s- Gang Of Four is a jagged, metallic take on Wilko Johnson whilst Keith Levene came up with that high chiming drone that the Edge still uses to this day. Keith Levene can be clearly heard in the Clash with that sound.

            Also Song From Under The Floorboards is about as far removed from prog as you could possibly get!

            check your facts mate. You are all over the place.

          • Punk as a culture was about gigs and just not records. GoF playing from 1977, recorded Armalite June, PIL was July 1978. It is the specifics of rhythm added to his ‘chimes’ that Levene took. Andy Gill as Wilko Johnson? But why not then Andy Partridge? You’ll telling me next it is all Mick Green of the Pirates. All punk guitarists were influenced by Wilko! Check out Death Disco both Gill and chimes. Also Chant.

            Levene is not just the ‘high chiming sound’ if that was the case Levene ripped off Steve Howe when he was a Yes roadie! And Randy California was there before all of them!

            If that is all your are saying about the Edge it is just too weak on that front you might as well include John Martyn echoplex and Frippertonics. It was about influence of “bolt-on McGeoch” and the punk year zero nonsense which you defended and brought in Levene.

            Hannett did one session 11 o’clock tick tock released week after Curtis killed himself. Are you sure you were around at the time?

            U2 are a rock band and are as much in the rock trio tradition from Johnny Kidd through Hendrix, the Who and Zep as they are in thrall to the all the failed punk bands extolled in the romantic punk theory of punk as year zero JR and others maybe even yourself.

            Year zero lasted for about a week and then the myth took 30 years to get rid of. There is a whole generation stuck there like those in the 60’s or bebop. The forever teenage nostalgia. JR just got out of his punk failed wound!

            Where I agree with JR is that there was no point to punk. That was its point. You self-appoint yourself to do what you want. U2 did what they wanted- get over it.

            1971 – 40 years of Glastonbury, forget the 1970 that was nothing.

            Punk was just a blip and it is well over and integrated by the next generation of bands. Thankfully punk, prog hippie, mod who cares can be drawn on after that uniform of only punk rules and the punks claim year zero. That was rubbish in 1977 but it caught on and you got PUNK!

            And it is this PUNK that the self-appointed John ‘Motty’ Robb and Jon ‘Robbie’ Savage, who fancy themselves in the pantheon of punk to be the Vadier to the Danton and Robespierre of Lydon and McLaren scavenge as cultural commentators to parade their revisionist and predictable myths.

            All that you can leave behind.

          • oops I forgot your inability to distinguish guitar sound from band setting but McGeoch and Magazine were plodding prog with punk attitude and basic bass for guitar tone check out Van de Graaf, Charlie Witney in Family and even Barclay James Harvest!

          • haha your back.

            Have you checked out Barclay James Harvest yet? I doubt it.

            If you must know I went to school with Pete McNeish, check it out on Google, he supported my band when he was in Jets of Air with Garth.

            Jon Savage lives down the road.

            So err lets forget your Levene 1976 thesis and your over-attachment to me. You really are a 1976 jockey aren’t you!

            Levene did not arrive from outer space and that was not why he got thrown out of the Clash. I notice you make no actual points.

            Only insults and no facts this time. Is that the best you can do?

            Thanks for the stunning insight I am jealous.

            Do you do co-counselling? How much do you charge? Your up there with Darwin.

            I suggest you look up projection and transference and read your comments back to yourself. You will find they apply to you.

            If you must reply please make your insults more interesting I mean there is meant to be some spirit of punk on LTW surely?

            I am sure arguing with JR is fun, never met the bloke. JS takes it in good spirit, at least he did last time I saw him in the pub. Because he knows it is an argument and not just about your envy over U2.

            JS is fair game as he puts it out there. Maybe you should, just google wiki…you know the rest

          • but really Barney your mixing me up with Jon S, but then it is past your bedtime. You must be the cameraman.

        • The problem mate is your inability to distinguish guitar tone full stop. Did they teach you about the Gang Of Four on your media studies course at college a couple of years ago? Typically clueless is this idea that Andy Gill invented everyone’s guitar sound. Yes he had an original style- a great combination of Hendrix and Wilko but it’s a totally different sound from Keith Levene. Are you one of those prats who thinks Franz Ferdinand sound like the Gang Of Four, bet you are. If you grew up in the post punk era you would see and hear everything so differently. Oh and Magazine were hardly plodding prog rock! Please do your own thinking and maybe listen to music instead of churning out what you have read.

          • @davdevalle

            Aaaaaah I see they taught you about cutting and pasting ‘facts’ from Wikipedia at your college course! And you are still deluded about Levene somehow taking his sound from Andy Gill. A quite laughable idea that really does betray you as a person who does not have a clue what you are talking about. If punk was about gigs and not records then Levene wins again because he was already playing around with that influential guitar sound in 1976 in the Clash- one of the reasons he was removed from that band.
            2. The trouble with these internet debates is you always end up debating with a student with a vague grasp of facts and the debating skills of a five year old. Typical of this is that you get called the Robbie Savage of pundits and you try and glue that to Jon Savage, very clever. There is a streak of jealousy to your comments at least Savage and Robb were there and knows their stuff, you just seem to copy everything off the Internet. They are pundits because people respect what hey do and you are reduced to ranting on message boards and whinging to your two bored looking mates in the pub.

            3. Both Savage and Robb both document far more music than just punk, neither of them seem interested in year zero. That’s something you seem to be talking about.

            4. U2 took all their ideas from punk made them mundane and worked very, very hard and got to the top. On stage at Glastonbury they were caught with their pants down and made to seem very, very ordinary.

          • Now Pascal on your ‘distinguish guitar tone’ YOu have said nothing new or anything about it. Have you ever played. I said earlier it was the rhythm Gill gave to Levene. Levene did not stand still unlike you. YOu said Edge ripped off Levene after JR said he ripped off McGeoch. I said Levene ripped off Gill to get your goat and it did! But also it was what changed him, sure he was playing before but it wasnt the ‘chiming sound’ which the TC2290 delivered especially as it hadn’t been built, nor the SPX90 or even the earlier Roland but then you are not specific to the Explorer thing are you. I played on in 1975, not the later ones they were playable but the early ones, looked great in some peoples eyes but totally crap neck and so that shaped his Edge sound. Influences are not ripping off. McGeoch Guitar tone in magazine was Marshall and I think he had Gibson SG or something similar canna remember and various fuzz, it is direct from prog but you can’t see it because you have bought the punk line and it is you who have read too many versions. Of course Magazine were plodding progpunk. But your idea of prog is prob ELP and Yes – the received version. I don’t believe you were there

          • and read more carefully I never wrote Andy Gill invented everyone’s guitar sound. I wrote others post and prior to your Levene McGeoch as the first guitar gods! Gill as Hendrix!!! hahah wrong. Gill did get away from that blues influence so not as much direct Hendrix as you infer. Of course Hendrix ripped off Wes MOntgomery but you already know that don’t you.

            Of course as you are full of facts and first hand experience then not reading what you are arguing against is what makes you a punk! that is why you are a year zero theorist. I didn’t realise that was not made clear to in your pub from your boring mates. Sorry its not on Wikipedia I’ll write the page for you.

          • JR blurb Punk Rock has quote 1976 was year zero on cover, JS wrote was 1976 year zero. So your reading is not even up to speed. And I begin to wonder if you took any.

  9. Balls Dave, love Eno, but he’s worked with Coldplay too, so he does work with wankers.
    And my opinion has shite all to do with the press, I make up my own mind, and don’t like U2- not through ‘cool’ or whatever, just don’t- I think it’s called an opinion.

  10. Hands up who would want their tax money to pay for this?


  11. Dear johnrobb,

    I just don’t get the point of your piece? If you don’t like U2 then perhaps just ignore them and write about something else that you find more rock and roll?

    You just sound like a pretentious twat who is too busy trying to fight against anything that is remotely liked by the masses.

    It’s boring to read yet another person not getting the inevitability of loads of people stating hatred for popular bands like U2 and coldplay.

    Why don’t you just shut up and let the people who enjoy their music just enjoy it without people like yourself writing pointless bollocks about it?

    • I agree with Plumbster why don’t music writers just have no opinions? what’s the point of writing something about something you don’t like? I think all music writing should be agreeing with everything that’s there, if you don’t like U2 pretend you like them. Music writing is just not bland enough.

      personally I don’t find U2 taxing enough, but then neither does the inland revenue.

  12. U2 kinda lost the plot after Achtung Baby – but what ‘plot’ have they ever had? They’re a pop-band, pure and simple – they just happen to be a half-decent pop-band who kick-started their career with some powerful early singles and two albums, “Boy” and “October”, that were neither punk nor new-wave – they were rock at a time when Irish teenagers were queueing up to buy guitars and to be in a band. U2 were the lucky ones.

    It’s all about the music, after all. Unfortunately, Bono has ridden the horse called “Pretentious Hypocrisy” for several years now and allowed it to smother the band’s occasional moment of creative triumph. But hasn’t every famous band got a knob for a frontman? They wouldn’t be a frontman, otherwise? Mick Jagger, Liam Gallagher, Paul McCartney have all behaved like arseholes on occasion – so has John Lydon, God forbid – but it’s the music that matters and, with the exception of Oasis, I will continue to appreciate their creative legacies for years to come.
    If Bono et al bummed kids or robbed grannies, fair enough, I’d disown ’em but we’re all hypocrites at the end of the day and judging U2’s hypocrisies is merely a diversion for our own shortcomings and hardly going to change the world.
    I’d rather stick the boot into REALLY lazy artists…

  13. His real name is David Evans just joking with all that cash i thought he could afford a hair transplant like Sir Elton not have to wear that wooly cap.

    Mr Robb writing was full of vitriol about the corporate act U2, fascinating read. As for me they have recorded good albums Joshua Tree, Achtung Baby and then recorded awful ones like How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb and Zooeuropa, ive heard Pop is not very good either (Adam Clayton’s Baby)

    Mr Robb can be excused in my eyes because he is a huge fan of the Stranglers 1974-1990 era!

  14. @Dave

    There is a lot that can be said in defence of U2; they have a strong back catalogue and could easily do a great setlist comprised of material from Achtung Baby, Zooropa, The Joshua Tree, War and The Unforgettable Fire, all of which are great to good albums.

    However you spoil all of that by focusing on giving a massive blow job to a band who have fallen into a dad rock comfort zone, about as edgy as a cozy bean bag in an EMI-funded country house. “Constantly trying new things”??? REALLY!? Given that and your dream setlist below I’m beginning to think you heard Beautiful Day once and are yet to realise that the band actually has a back catalogue.

    Of the songs you list, probably three are even redeemable. Sunday Bloody Sunday and Pride are decent but far from their best, and With or Without You is still a nice if overplayed and mawkish song.

  15. […] Art Uncut protest against U2‘s alleged tax affairs was crushed […]

  16. @Dan, Yes you are right. I didn’t really take much notice of U2 until I heard Beautiful Day in 2001 in a pub not knowing who it was by. I thought it was by some new band I had not heard of.

    The thing is when I hear and like a song, I’m not that interested in who is performing it as long as it’s a good tune and appears to be attempting to talk sense. There are loads of bands that have had long careers that I only like one or two songs by, in fact there are no artists that I like all their music.

    Musical taste is a very subjective thing. Your appraisal of which songs are good by U2 is just your opinion, not an empirical fact. I happen to like some of the songs from the last three albums better than the older stuff. Can’t help that, it’s just the way it is for me.

    Anyway, I’m off to play my Best of Brotherhood of Man box set, cheers, Dave

    PS Re the tax thing..If you could get out of paying taxes to a load of repugnant self serving Politicians to finance their illegal wars, are you telling me you wouldn\’t?

  17. @Dave – State Secondary school buildings are literally falling apart all over UK. Damp, dangerous, up to 2000 students in each of these schools put up with revolting conditions. Maybe “the tax thing” would help this situation..maybe not..(after all the tory party don’t send their kids to these schools)..but it lacks integrity to not pay taxes…even if the money goes in the wrong direction..wars and not re-building the state schools

  18. @Robin ‘but it lacks integrity to not pay taxes…even if the money goes in the wrong direction and not re-building the state schools’

    Sorry Robin, but I have a bit of a problem with the use of the word ‘integrity’ within the context of that sentence.

    Here’s a list of SOME of the taxes people in the UK pay, and underneath a link to a list of current and proposed ‘stealth’ taxes. To quote John Lydon and John Robb

    ‘Do you ever feel you have been cheated?’

    Income tax
    Fuel duty tax
    Council tax
    vehicle excise duty
    Inheritance Tax
    Stamp Duty
    Insurance Premium Tax
    Airport Tax
    Capital Gains Tax
    National Insurance
    TV Licence
    M6 toll
    Speeding fines
    Fuel Tax (utilities)
    Car Tax
    Tax on Savings & Investments
    TV license
    heart attax!


  19. […] Would you believe it? U2 have today been named as the Greatest Act of the past 25 years. […]


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