David Cameron's face super-imposed onto the Village People
Stop it or me and my gang will get annoyed!

David Cameron's face super-imposed onto the Village People

“You’re into men marrying men and stuff. What the fuck man! Men marrying horses, is that next?” – Henry Rollins recalling a letter sent by a fan.

This might sound farfetched and frankly a little ridiculous but this is exactly the mentality of the one hundred and thirty Tory MPs opposed to the reformation of Homosexuals right to get wed.

The only beneficial thing about this rebellion against Gay Rights is that it has shown the country just how goddamn moronic some of these right-wingers are. In fact some of the comments are so funny you’d think they were plucked right from a satirical sketch on Mock the Week.

None more so than that of Former Cabinet minister, Lord Tebbit, who came out with the classic line; “[if we] make these same sex marriages available to all…it would lift my worries about inheritance tax because maybe I’d be allowed to marry my son. Why not? Why shouldn’t a mother marry her daughter?” (taken from i, 22/05/13)

…because that’s incest, you utter dick. By that argument the current law allows me to marry my own mother for the same reason as Tebbit wanting to wed his son.

The strange twisted logic that anyone who isn’t straight must be a mad, raving, flamer, who is also an incestuous paedophile, seems to be common place in the mentality of the right-wing and having that view now comes with a ‘50% off’ life-long subscription to the Daily Mail.

Regardless of Tebbit’s bizarre comparison to marriage and incest I still personally have no intention of marrying my own flesh and blood, regardless of how good my Ma looks for her age.

So where does the captain of the UK ship stand on this whole debacle? Quite surprisingly, it seems, Davey C is in fact opposing his own party in this reform and actually backing the introduction of Gay Marriage into Britain.

When I first heard this I was surprised, perhaps the shiny-headed bugger wasn’t so bad after all? But I soon began to weigh up the reasons why Cameron would be so adamant in fighting against his party about something that probably doesn’t affect him in the slightest. Dave is a man out for himself, make no mistake, and here’s the proof…

The reasoning behind Cameron’s pro-Gay stance can be boiled down to one of two things. The first is that a huge chunk of the population support Gay Marriage. In fact almost 60% of the population are okay with a couple of dudes putting rings on each other’s fingers (no jokes, people, we’re professionals here) and if Davey C can at least seem to be gunning for the views of that huge slice of voter pie than he probably believes he’ll be able to secure himself a second run as head honcho.

Because the truth is that due to this Tory backlash, which will result in an elongated debate in the House of Lords delaying it from being truly considered as a legitimate idea; Cameron has landed himself in the perfect position. He can pretend to be all for the Gays in the public domain while in secret baiting his “opposition” to come forward with their anti-homosexual ideals.

This will create a political vacuum where no forward momentum will occur until after Davey C has already garnered a fine few handfuls of voters who are cool with the whole gender-on-gender trip. After that he can slip, once again, back into a traditional Tory position and simply hold his hands up and say, “Sorry, ya bunch of queens, I gave it my best shot. Sucks for you!”

Or maybe not, perhaps Cameron really is for equal marital rights as my second theory, and probably the more logical, is that he himself is affected by this bill and does want Gay Marriage approved so that the path can be paved and he can marry his soul-mate, Nick Clegg.

All words by Ian Critchley. You can read more from Ian on LTW here.



  1. Frightening to think that in parts of London and elsewhere some neighbourhoods seem to believe they are somehow gay free zones,

  2. Gilly, that is scary as hell. I didn’t even realise that some places were THAT bad. I had an idea that certain areas might be of a slightly anti-gay approach but that is has gone THAT far is goddamn terrifying.

    Simon, thank you very much! It’s always good to get some positive feedback. Makes the whole thing that little more worthwhile. I hope you can find a similar good buzz from the fact that your comment has LITERALLY made my day.


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