Chesty Malone & The Slice ‘Em Ups: Destroy All Humans – ep review

Chesty Malone & The Slice ‘Em Ups – Destroy All Humans (Wrecked Records)
Available now

Are Chesty Malone and the boys passing off music which is past its sell by date? For Louder Than War Natalie Dzerins investigates.

Every once in a while, a band comes along who make you sit up and re-evaluate everything you know about music. Unfortunately for New York group Chesty Malone and the Slice ’em Ups, they are not that band. In fact, they may be the polar opposite of that band.

Don’t get me wrong, CMASEU aren’t a bad band. They’re not even an incompetent band. They’re just a very boring band who are desperately trying to be exciting. Their sound is a cross between Lunachicks and Motorhead, and might have been interesting if they were around thirty-odd years ago. Listening to the track ‘The Trouble With Cannibals’, you can tell lead singer Jaqueline Blownaparte has a good voice, and the guitar riffs are decent, but it’s been done to death.


I’m not only talking about the music here, their publicity material is equally hackneyed, making them sound about as ‘edgy’ as a Young Conservative’s afternoon tea party. It just all feels like they’re trying a bit too hard to “not give a fuck”, and have definitely sacrificed substance for style. The way they look, the way they write about themselves (sample: “the Slice ’em Ups will bludgeon your eardrums and overload your remaining five senses”) and the way they sound are all as predictable as a crying bridesmaid at a hen do.

All that being said, I might be being too harsh on them here. If you like that whole leather-pants-wearing, Jack-Daniels-guzzling, look-at-us-upsetting-our-parents thing, you might absolutely love this band. If you want to check them out, their latest EP is called Chesty Malone Destroy All Humans (because of course it is) and will be available on United Riot/Wrecked.


Chesty Malone And The Slice Em Ups can be found at their website and on their Facebook, Twitter and MySpace pages.

All words by Natalie Dzerins. More work by Natalie on Louder Than War can be found here. Natalie also has her own website Forty Shades Of Grey which you can find here & she tweets as @TheNatFantastic.


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