Do you ever get these tedious cold calls trying to sell you insurance scams? Here’s how to deal with them.

Any more suggestions then please comment below

Are you are bored of the endless calls, and the caller’s rudeness.

Every day you get one. The crackling line and the script read off a piece of paper.

This evening someone rang up from the ‘Ministry Of Justice in the United Kingdom’ trying to help pay off my mortgage – I don’t even have a mortgage. I then politely told them we don’t actually have a ‘Ministry Of Justice’ in the UK and their odd relpy was ‘don’t shit me, you bullshit, bullshit’, and then they hung up.

I wonder if that swearing was written on a cue card like the rest of their spiel or if it was some sort of new sales line.
Baffled by their rather odd and somewhat sales technique I then decided it was time to have some fun with them and there are plenty of opportunities for this since they ring every day.

Maybe try one of these methods to get them off your trail:

1. Recently someone successfully invoiced the cold call people £10 for every minute of his time they wasted. They ignored him at first but he took them to small claims court and won the case…this is the way forward!

2. Another new way of dealing with them is to answer all their questions for double glazing or whatever other rubbish they are selling, invite them round and when they arrive tell them you have no interest in what they are doing and can they stop wasting your time..

3. Pretend you are a cop investigating a murder like in the clip below

4. Scream very loudly down the phone

5. Tell them you are a dog and that you want to go for a walk- the following confused silence is worth everything.

6. Just leave the phone off the hook and go back to what you were doing

7. Leave the phone of the hook and put Captain Beefheart’s classic ‘Trout Mask Replica’ on really loud. You get to bask in musical genius and they get their brain tied up in knots.

7. Ask them the meaning of life.

8. Say yes to everything they ask and answer every question really enthusiastically.

9. Ask them for drugs

10. Speak to them in a dalek voice

11. One caller asked for my name to be spelled out… slowly and laboriously… letter by letter… I gave it to them… Mr. S… T…. I… N…. K… C… O… C…. K and then got them to read it back.

12. When they are offering to loan you money ask them if you can borrow a couple of million pounds.

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Award winning journalist and boss of Louder Than War. In a 30 year music writing career, John was the first to write about bands such as Stone Roses and Nirvana and has several best selling music books to his name. He constantly tours the world with Goldblade and the Membranes playing gigs or doing spoken word and speaking at music conferences.


  1. The guy who had my work extension before me seems to have used it for all sorts of stuff as I have a constant stream of callers looking for him. My strategy remains to be (a) polite (b) accurate and (c) as unhelpful as it humanly possible.

    “May I speak to Mr please?”
    “You may.”

    “May I speak to Mr please?”
    “As far as I am aware I am in no position either to grant or to refuse you permission to speak to Mr FC, and in that sense you clearly *may* speak to him. Would you like me to tell him to call you?”
    “Yes please”
    “I can’t.”

    und so weiter

  2. You could always repeat everything they say – that does confuse.Another would be to do a Thomas the tank engine impression – “chuff,chuff,chuff,TOOT,TOOT,chuff.”Now that the details of the evil plan are laid bare – put it to use,mwah,haha!

  3. This one I read so no prizes, please: just tell any of these callers you’re busy, but you’d be happy to ‘phone them back later in the day/ this evening and could they give you their number.
    Most times you’ll never hear from either that individual or his/her pesty organisation again.

  4. Two plans:

    1. If Rosie my 7 year old isn’t in…..I tell them to hang on a sec and play “Fuck You” Cee-lo Green through the phone

    2. If Rosie is in…I ask her to tell them about her Barbies – she keeps them chatting for ages

  5. I used to think it was mean to wind up the poor sod on minimum wage in a high pressure call centre who has to make these calls (and is just trying to make their way in the world like you or I), and that we should hate the companies not the employees, but there really do appear to be some callers who appear to enjoy being feckless irritants, and they’re worth having some fun with…

    I tend to answer the calls on speakerphone and let the listen to music with me, as a sort of punk rock answer to ‘listen with mother’, that way I’m not being abusive to anyone and if the caller is working in a high-pressure call centre at least I’m giving them a few minutes rest.

  6. I love having a chat to them if I have a dull moment. My favourite was a lad in India who I asked to put me though to a department that happened to be in the UK. He said that he couldn’t, because it was after 5pm and English people are very lazy and go home at 5pm.

    Excellent, call centre people hate other so we don’t have to. The cuts are working!

  7. I always do a take on the Jasper Carrot “Nutter on the bus” routine by asking them if they’ve seen my camel. Normally ends by me accusing them of kidnapping our camel while my kids pretend to cry in the background! Works a treat!

  8. I am a cold-caller and the best way to deal with anyone cold-calling you is to actually listen to what they have to say as more often than not they are offering a good service or product. If they are not offering something you want politely ask them to remove your details from their data list, depending on their system this will more than likely happen. In fact if you do not speak to them more than likely the call will be dispositioned so that another call is made. If you are rude the caller may even arrange for you to be called back just to irritate you. I appreciate cold-calls are irritating, especially when they offer something you do not want. If you want to avoid cold-calls do not give companies permission to contact you e.g. unticking or ticking boxes or answering lifestyle. Not that it would have occurred to any of the above but there is a human being on the other end of the line and they’re just trying to earn some money. It may not be the best job in the world but think about this if cold-calling didn’t work then companies wouldn’t spend millions of pounds every year doing it. So may be the clever people are the ones that actually listen and not the people thinking up inefficient (and admittedly funny) ways of dealing with them. If you do not want to be cold-called don’t give your telephone number, if you do receive a call you do not want ask the company calling you to provide you with the information as to where they got your details. It will probably be data collection company, then contact them and ask them to remove your details. It is a bit complicated but consider this in almost all of the cases I have dealt with the person gave their telephone number out and gave person to be contacted. To finish – have some respect and manners and life will be a bit easier for you.

    • I understand all you say about you doing a job etc., but asking to be taken off a list doesn’t work. Being polite only encourages you. I tried blocking calls with withheld numbers but missed essential hospital appointments. Pleae put yourself in our place. Retired people like me tend to doze off in a chair in the afternoon, only to be awakened by someone telling us we’ve won a lottery prize we never entered or that we can claim for an injury we haven’t had. Then there’s these countless occasions we are called during an evening meal and asked to do a survey. So I will continue to treat cold calls with complete distain. You are NOT, repeat NOT, doing a job – you are annoying people.

    • Coldcaller: I agree with everything you say. However, many, and I repeat MANY, cold calls are from people trying to rip me off. Seriously. Most of my calls relate to PPI – claiming that they already either know I have been mis-sold PPI, or they have money waiting for me to collect. Or they pretend to be from BSkyB offering a warranty. Or they pretend to be from Microsoft – telling me ( falsely) that they have spotted that my computer has a virus – and it goes on… I really don;t have the patience to perform the forensic interview that would tell me who was honest and who wasn’t. The bottom line is that I have opted to receive no marketing calls ( with the telephone preference service) and anyone who gets around those filters doesn;t deserve my respect, honets or not, desperately poor or not. There are MUCH better ways to support poverty than listening to a script and possibly encouraging theft… and I perform some of them. pete

    • Total rubbish. Someone went into the back of me on the motorway 2 years ago. I didn’t give my number out to anyone. They were illegally obtained and I have had calls for 2 years now trying to get me to claim for whiplash. Cold callers are total wasters who can’t get a proper job. You add nothing to civilisation what so ever. You are a total waste of space!

      • Two more reasons I hate cold callers…and the parasites that do it:

        – I will not claim whiplash and be a big sponge like the cold caller filth on the other end of the line

        – For all the ageing people who risk their health and safety trotting up and down the stairs to answer the phone to a slug

        -If your only skill is calling someone and reading a script, then you really haven’t done yourself justice

    • Great comment! Your a real human and only doing your job and probably don’t want to do that for a living. I myself have a device on my phone called Truecall it stops unwanted calls such as cold callers.

    • I have only given my mobile number to my family, yet I get 2 or 3 cold-calls a day, as soon as I ask them to remove my details they just disconnect without saying anything.

      My landline is registered to stop call-callers but I still get about 5 a day, yes these people are human, but they are not nice people.

  9. These cold callers are a nightmare, constantly rude trying to sell you stuff you don’t want and don’t need- what gives them the right to phone you up at random hours selling you crap? and slamming the phone down if you are not interested…I don’t want your crappy insurance or garden sheds…

  10. I’m learning Japanese at the moment, so if I know the number is a cold caller I like to answer the phone in Japanese and try to convince them in very broken English that the number they’ve called is a residence in Japan. If they’re persistent anyway, I just pretend I don’t understand a single word they’re saying. Sometimes they’re dumb and they give up on the number, even though everyone knows it requires a country code to dial out of the country.

    You may not even have to convince them you’re not in the country. Not being able to speak English should be enough to stop them. Either way, it’s a good practice of my speaking skills.

  11. If the caller is female, tell her your husband gave you one up the arse last night and it really hurts. Then ask her if she’s ever tried it.
    If the caller is male, ask him if he has a big cock. If he answrs, tell him: If it’s not at least ten inches then I’m not interested.

  12. I stumbled upon this one by accident it is very simple and effective. If you’re not sure if it is a cold call or not, pretend you can’t hear them. Advantage= if it turns out not to be a cold call just chat as normal. If it is, keep insisting you can’t hear them. Then stick a few direct answers in, while still insisting you can’t hear them. If they directly accuse you of lying, say you want to report them to their supervisor.

  13. i have a brilliant method i try to sell them one of my cds, everytime they pause i tell them how good it is and how its a bargain at only a tenner. sometimes i offer to swap! they soon hang up.

  14. My 56 year old dad answers the phone with the voice of a 10 year old and says ‘my mum and dad are out right now’
    Proper stops them in thier tracks.
    Me and the rest of the family always let it ring 3 times then put the phone down then redial.
    Thats our code so dad knows its us and not a coldcaller.
    Simple yet effective.

  15. Call centres get away with ignoring the ‘do not contact’ list by using calling systems that dial (0123) 456 789, (0123) 456 790, repeat to infinity. Or they call from abroad. There are other domestic database systems that use caller preferences, so if you checked that little box, you’ll never hear from them. Therefore the caller on the first or second types of system knows damn well they’re ignoring the wishes of people who think they have chosen not to take cold calls. A miffed call centre worker who thinks another few calls will serve that rude bastard in Wythenshawe right is committing a form of harassment and exposing his or her company to liability as a result.

  16. I hate it when they keep ringing you answer and it cuts off because the call is sent out to a few people at the same time and if someone answers before you it cuts off. Then when you answer tell them just to hang on a minute whilst you are just putting the rubbish out for the bin man or some other tedious task, leave them there and wait till they’ve cleared the line. I’ve kept a PPI caller waiting for 4 and half minutes, which is a result

  17. I have two lines of attack. Firstly, screech “The weasels are upon me!” several times in your best ‘Black Metal style or go for the altogether darker approach of “I’m so glad you called, I really need someone to talk to, I got my test results back today and it’s terminal, how can I tell the kids?”.

  18. There’s a big gap in the market for a Yuring test/Eliza-type machine you can switch the call to when you realise it’s a cold caller.

    It only needs to say “yes”, “I see” “go on”, etc during the speech gaps of the caller. Development could be funded by a prize handed out monthly to the longest/funniest call.

  19. if you want to get rid of them quickly just tell them you’re busy and can you have their number to call them back – strangely they just put the phone down…

  20. Register with the Telephone Preference Service. httpss://
    “The Telephone Preference Service (TPS) is a free service. It is the official central opt out register on which you can record your preference not to receive unsolicited sales or marketing calls. It is a legal requirement that all organisations (including charities, voluntary organisations and political parties) do not make such calls to numbers registered on the TPS unless they have your consent to do so.”
    Doesn’t stop the unregulated foreign callers because they don’t care, but it cut out 99% of the genuine unsolicited insurance and sales calls.

    Worked a treat, although BT seem to think they’re immune, because it’s their line, but I complained to them separately.

    • I’ve been registered with TPS for more than 10 years, total waste of time. I get a call everyday, many of the calls use the same taped rubbish to start with. I’ve tried everything, today I got really annoyed after the third call and swore for the first time in years.

  21. My other half either does a pervy voice and asks what they’re wearing or plays the kazoo down the phone.

  22. Since Iv’e retired I have developed the following system for dealing with cold callers.
    1. Use caller display,
    2.Sign up to TPS.
    3.Ensure that you have lots of memory to save numbers.
    Then, when you get a cold call get the information required for a complaint to TPS or ICO…name. number etc.
    Save the number under Ignore1,Ignore2……Then never answer.
    Ignore all numbers that show Unavailable on the caller display..these numbers are from abroad; It will be logged as unresponsive in the call centre and eventually dropped as not worth ringing(takes about a month or two).
    Withheld numbers must be answered as they are used by doctors and medical sec’s; if they are cold callers get their details and report them.
    It works for me!

  23. Yeah, this is all massively hilarious. Thing is, if you’re someone like me -who needs to pay my rent and works as a cold caller, you lot sound more petty than you think I am.
    And how did you go from writing about bands like Nirvana to writing crap jokes on blogs like this?

    • You could stop breaking the law by ringing people registered with the tps and/or buying phone number lists from criminals and get yourself a job that doesn’t involve harassing people in their own homes. I have absolutely no sympathy for you whatsoever. You people are parasites.

  24. “I’m sorry, I already have double glazing, but while you’re on the line do you have a moment to speak about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?”

  25. I too can identify with the plight of the cold callers, as my profession is largely reviled by those who either do not require or appreciate my services. I too have bills and rent to pay, and a life to lead. Spoiling tactics may seem like fun, but they threaten my job security and put additional stress on me from day to day. As a professional assassin, my targets might think it clever to dodge and weave, surround themselves with security, or invest in kevlar undergarments, but this only puts others at risk (try sniping a head shot at 500 yards, in difficult conditions, when a solid body shot would have brought my business to a quick and clean end). You may not approve of what I do, but if it didn’t make sound financial sense, my clients wouldn’t pay my exorbitant fees. If people hadn’t royally pissed someone off, got in their way, or frustrated their business objectives, then the contract wouldn’t have been taken out. So next time you fancy a rant, think of those that are the least amongst you, even thieves need to get by. Investment bankers are twats though.

    • I have 2 contracts for you.
      1. The one who calls themself Cold caller.
      2.The one who calls themself Cold as Ice.
      Could you get them both into cold storage at the Morgue

  26. I like to copy thier accent until they get annoyed. Or if they say something about my computer say. I dont have a computer…

  27. I like tend to find out who has called me, then I find out who the C.E.O of the company is and with great help from the freedom of information act I get hold of their personal home phone number and ring them a couple of times a day

  28. I tell them “I’m sorry but I do not speak English” and if they go on or ask a question I say ” Look I just told you that I don’t speak English and I don’t understand it either” They don’t know what to say. I will then ask them “how long have you been doing your job? If they ask another question then I say “I’m terribly sorry, I don’t speak English” you can hear the gears wirring away in their heads.

  29. I kinda did number 1, but instead of claiming later I stopped the guy in his tracks and asked for his credit card details. This through him off his script a bit but said pardon. I repeated the request for his credit detail and told him I charge £100 pounds per hour and needed to take it off his credit card. He hung up
    2. There was a spate of calls all at the same time each night. Eventually the phone went at the same time in the evening so I Knew who it was. I answered the phone with “Hello, Leeds Deaf School”, …..”Pardon”….. “Pardon”……. “Pardon”….. and so on until the phone went dead.
    2. My teenage daughter once went to answer the phone and I said to her if its someone selling something tell them I’m dead. She promptly said “I’m sorry he’s deadd”. The person plainly didn’t feel any remorse or was going to be put off by this as the next thing I heard my daughter say was “…no sorry, she’s dead as well”. Maximum points for persistence, minus1000 points for sympathy.

  30. Note to ‘coldcaller’ and ‘cold as ice’: Well now, good for you, you have a job so you can pay your bills! Congratulations, do you want a cookie? Welcome to the real world. If you don’t like your job, get a different one, go back to school, or whatever you need to do. Save your sob story for someone else. I’ve taken all available steps to keep my number from being abused. So if you are calling me, you are NOT “just doing your job”, you are willfully harassing me, and you deserve every second of whatever I choose to dish out to you. xxxooo;)

  31. I either say “Emergency, what service do you require?”, pretend that it’s a sex line, or do an old woman impression- “Who are you? Why are you doing this? You’re scaring me… I’ll get my grandson… he’ll know what to do.!”

  32. Answered the phone last week without realizing it was from an Indian cold caller twat. I said ” Hello” normally and as soon as he said “Good morning MR ….” I realized it was an Indian scam monger. Have had so many calls from Indians who always hung up on me when I was polite I decided to see how much of THEIR time I could waste. This one asked for me by name. I immediately switched and answered in an OLD MANS VOICE. ( Not doddery, just higher and breathless.- that way you can slow the conversation down.) and agreed with everything he was saying as he went on and on and sounded really interested. Lots of “OH Yes” interjections. He eventually told me he had a Govt cheque for me if I would give him my credit card details. I said I was 97 tomorrow and that I would have to go get my card. I just held the phone for about a minute and he was STILL waiting.- always a good sign. I again said I was 97 tomorrow. He asked me what card it was so I told him the name of the first national UK bank that came to mind. He asked for my number and I made one up. He asked me to repeat it and I said “What?” He said “The number. ” I said “What number?” He said “The number on the card” I said ” I just gave it you” He said ,” Give it to me again. ” I said “You’ve got it.” He said “ read it to me again.” I said, “ I just put it away – I’m 97 tomorrow. ” He then told me the number I had first given him was not a legit number and so I kept telling him I was 97 tomorrow. He got really irate and asked me to read it back to him. I said “What?” He said ” THE NUMBER !!.” I said “What number?” and so it went on until I could tell he was getting too annoyed so I said I would go and get it. I left him for about 30 seconds this time and then told him I had it. He asked for it again. I said ” I already gave it to you.” He was now talking really quick so I switched and asked him if he was giving me a cheque for my birthday tomorrow as I was going to be 97 . The lying bastard said “YES, YES, , that is what the cheque is for , just give me the number on the card.” I said ” What card ?” He shouted “The CREDIT CARD!!” I said “it’s my birthday tomorrow” He said ” What date were you born?.” I said ” 97 years ago. He SHOUTED, “What was the year.” “ I said “ What year?” “THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN!!” I said, “I can’t remember, it was 97 years ago.” He hung up.
    IT HAD LASTED FOR ABOUT 10 + MINUTES !!!!! He was Sooooo pissed; but because I seemed vulnerable and immediately compliant, his greedy anticipation of receiving a genuine credit card number completely blinded him to the shit I was telling him. Try it. It’s turned my annoyance at these calls into a wonderfully fulfilling experience. Can’t wait for the next one. By the way, “I’m 97 tomorrow.”

  33. I get a lot of cold calls from insulation companies. I immediately invite them to come round for a quote. That our house was fully insulated a couple of years ago means the visit ends with a claim I’m wasting their time – and I just point out that I’m returning the favour…

    More recently, I’ve been getting door knocked more often by electricity and phone companies. Every times I’ve told them I refuse to deal with door to door salesmen. Twice I’ve threatened to call the Police if they didn’t remove themselves from the property by the time I’d counted (out loud) to ten when they didn’t get the hint. The first one waited to seven, the other left immediately. (He must have know how trespass laws work.)

    • When I get the calls from the ones saying their guy is “in my area” and could he come round and give a quote for a conservatory or a shed I’ve always been tempted to invite one round. If he accuses me of wasting his time when he looks up at my flat on the 4th floor I can say I thought he would have known the type of property if he was in the area.

  34. I tell them that they have come through to the Freedom Against Cold Calling Campaign Office. Acronym FACCC OFF!!! One or two get , most apologise and put the phone down.

  35. The only thing that works and gives me any satisfaction is to instantly scream at the top of my voice ‘F@CK OFF’.

  36. I usually ask them if they are the kidnappers calling about my children using my tense upset voice. They normally ring off. By the way if you kidnappers are reading this post please can I have the kids back? Washing up has not been done for weeks.

  37. Best way to deal with these calls is get yourself a Truecall device. It stops unwanted calls such as cold callers. Got the idea from Dragons Den, it’s one of the dragon’s favourite gagets.

  38. I’ve pretended that they have called a movie rental shop, every thing they say I reply “sorry I don’t have that movie” or “I only have it on VHS” if they remain on the phone I will explain that I’m just wasting their time like they are wasting mine.

    Before the election I had candidates call me, I said I didn’t ask them to call me so they are cold calling and breaking the law because my number is TPS listed.


  39. I found a foolproof way is to interrupt them and say: “Sorry, you’ve caught me in the middle of masturbating. Could you just wait ’til I’m finished?”

    The next sound you hear is usually a dial tone…

  40. I work for a jewellers so whenever a cold caller calls I start trying to sell them a watch it normally shuts them up

    • think people need to chill it’s a job if we didn’t have a job i’m sure you people would slag us off more. I get calls as well the easy thing to do is a number blocker

      • I block at least 3 numbers a day and I still keep getting the calls (and I’ve registered with TPS). So come on Jack what else should we do other than either wasting their time by having fun with hem or telling them to ‘eff off? I suppose you think it’s acceptable to keep phoning my 85 year old father with the same crappy script? You know boundaries and you should be in jail.

  41. Try using a soundboard,then use the likes of Homer Simpson or Judge Julie to answer their questions. We can keep them occupied for ages.

  42. I let them go on a bit, then say “I can’t hear you”. Another rep or two, then “Can you sing that for me?” So far, no number one hits out of it.

  43. When I get a nuisance call – usually about an accident I haven’t had – I Google something like “free callback for accident claim”. Then I enter the nuisance caller’s number into the callback request box so that one nuisance caller then rings the other. If you enter the number into a few different websites it mean their number is then ‘out there’ like mine, being passed around so they end up getting as many as me. Childish yes. Satisfying yes.

  44. Tell them that you just need to ask a few security questions and then proceed to ask them to verify their name, DOB, the first line of their address and their postcode. If they are stupid enough to tell you, write it all down and pass it to the police.

  45. I have started a new one today. Called them back and asked for Rebecca.

    “Which Rebecca are you after?!
    “you have more than one Rebecca?” i asked.
    “Yes, we have six” proclaimed Joshua
    [F*** me i thought, thats a BIG office, I’m in trouble……
    “ok” i said, “the one with brown hair”.
    “ummmm, has she called you today?” he puzzled.
    “Yes, about 10 minutes ago”
    “She said if she wasn’t available then i should ask for Sexy Sarah.” i had to change tack.
    “hahaha ok, i’ll put you through.”……
    He returns. “Sorry, what did you say your name was?”
    “Mr Phillips”
    “Can i call you back, as then i can locate your file from your number?”
    “Does Sarah not want to talk to me?” I asked, worried that I may have upset Sarah in some way by referring to her as ‘Sexy’ and we’ve not even met face to face yet. To be honest, I would be wary of such a man.
    So, back to Joshua, who i can now hear in the back ground asking people if anyone has called Mr Phillips. A couple of voices heard answering no and that there is no Sarah’s or Rebecca’s working there.
    Joshua then came back and without warning started to hurl abuse at me for wasting their time. He then hung up….. I bet that helped other sales calls going on in the office.

    That was rude, i thought.

    So, maybe the tactic is to just keep them on the line i thought. Yes, this evenings call really had P***** me off. I was after gratification, revenge……vengeance.


    Out of the 52 calls i then called them placed over the next 1.5 hours and spoke to, funnily enough, the same 4 or 5 people over and over again, i had the following reactions.

    1 – “you do realise this is costing you money every time you call…, you must have loads of money, hahahahahahah, you don’t realise this is costing you lots of money………..” etc. Don’t worry, i checked before i called, regional number of Cardiff. Plus the amount of times they cut me off after only 30 secs would imply they were making zero from my call.

    2 – VERBAL abuse – can’t really put it here. Including mentions of my mother, my earnings, how much they earn (so have trouble believing these are poor people trying to earn an honest crust), my loneliness (my favourite) and that I am a waste of space (boo hoo hoo i cried to myself). Not to worry, i had the strength to go on.

    3 – [Voice in background] “don’t worry we can do a check through the….(muffled voice)…data base and locate the number. I was calling on 141 so pretty sure I’m safe….plus, the pillocks forget, they already have my number, why else would i be P***** off and putting in the time?

    4 – Singing – “Hello….is it me you’re looking for…”. Being honest, this was one of my personal favourites. Had to put the phone on mute for laughing.

    5 – I could hear in the background when answering…”have you got them now?” as they were working out which person ‘had’ me. So, for an office that had 6 Rebecca’s, the percentage of Rebecca’s working in the office must be astronomical.

    By this time I had now definitely spoken to everyone in the office, except Dan the manager……never did get to speak to Dan, who for some reason they kept saying I was being put through to, but he never took the call. Just hung up, tearful smiley.

    I never did get to speak to Rebecca either. Bit P***** about that, seeing as she was the only one i wanted to talk to.

    6 – “It’s ok, leave him with me whilst i drink my pop……” hung up after 2 mins 15 secs. Quick drink love

    7 – lots of just laughing at me down the phone with the obligatory childish type statements of “oh, isn’t he funny, isn’t he boring, what a sad person if he needs to ring us”.

    8 – “Just put him on hold with music”…was a suggestion in the background from Joshua (he was the only one that actually stated his name on answering each call, even giving his last name). They tried this several times, 4 minutes later, i was still sat there……wasting their time, wasting their call line. Shame mother f******.

    9 – Now they are getting towards the end of the day. ” ha ha ha ha ha, we are all leaving soon….” the most Welsh sounding lady of the bunch said. “Don’t worry guys, leave him with me”

    10 – “I don’t know why he is doing this? There are so many staff here, he won’t make any difference”. Somehow i doubt this.

    So, after having been in sales myself in the past, I’m guessing that reducing overall sales productivity for a sales team over the space of an hour and a half has hopefully cost them some money.

    However, to be sure, I will be spending a large portion of my day/week/month calling the number I have until they take it down. Then i’ll move on to the next one. Now, just think if EVERYONE did this type of nuisance calls back to them. If just 10% of us did this, they would be out of business very quickly. If 5 callers can make a minimum of 10 calls per hour each over an 8 hour day, that would be 40 of us calling them back and taking up their phone line for the next 10 minutes, 30 minutes etc.

    Come on people. REVOLT. Lets stop taking this S*** lying down. Fight back and stop expecting some useless government body (or government) to do anything about it.

    Etc Etc.

    Put it this way, I had fun, took up a LOT of their time and hopefully saved you guys a call or two for an hour or so.

    Even when they weren’t answering my call they were all being involved.

  46. I never use my Home Phone number for incoming calls ( I use my Mobiiel number for thhat ), I only have it for emergencies and because I have a Landline Intenet connnection, so my Answer Phone message is, “Hello. Your call has been forwarded to the Information Commissioners Office for Investigation. Calls to this number are chargeable. Thank You”. I get quite a few calls that all hang up as soon as they hear that !

  47. Lad I work with used to get those “have you had an accident in the last 12 months” calls. One day he politely answered “yes I have”, brilliant came the response down the phone, you’re just the type of person we’re looking for! “Just a minute he said, what about the boy?” What boy? “The little boy I killed? I’ve served my time & didn’t realise I was due compensation too!” Errr no, I don’t think we can help you actually… sick but worked a treat…


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