Don't Buy The Sun On Sundays
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I have spent every Sunday for as long as I care to remember in Kate Thornton's front garden, even in them summer months when her pagonias cause my hayfever terrible grief.
I do this not out of some perverted Kate Thornton obsession (in fact she reminds me of the wide-mouthed frog). No I do it because Sunday's are notoriously dull; there is nothing to do on a Sunday save for watching four hours of Eastenders or the Formula 1.
So far my efforts have uncovered very little about Kate Thornton other than the fact she likes pagonias. I often rummage through her bins but seldom find anything other than pictures of Dermot O'Leary with a scratched out face (her bins are collected on Fridays so really there is very little point in me bothering).
As such, I am very much looking forward to The Sun On Sunday (T.S.O.S ) (or T.O.S.S if you would prefer). For me Sundays have always been about entertainment and banal gossip and scandals of people you have no interest in. It's sort of what God intended all those years ago. Remember he made The Sun first? But then He had to wait for Sunday until he could actually read it; by which point his ÃÂ£9.50 holiday to Haven voucher had run out (He subsequently made the Daily Mail out of spite and that is why they are always so bitter).
The TOSS will replace the News Of The World, Rupert Murdoch's previous propaganda paper (they love a bit of alliteration), after it ceased publication last year amidst the Phone Hacking scandal. The NOTW had a circulation of 2.6 million; The Sun has a daily audience of 2.7 million. I had wanted to compare this to the number of Illiterate adults in the UK but when I wrote to the National Literacy Trust for help they oddly never replied.
Joe Strummer once sang ”ËIf Adolf Hitler flew in today they'd send a limousine anyway'. Perhaps he prophesised right. Are we really going to forgive and forget so quickly? Perhaps we should let Tony Blair back in Number 10 while we are at it? Maybe Gary Glitter could play at his ”ËWelcome Back' party?
I like to think that most people who buy and read The Sun do so for entertainment and not information. But even so one can't help but be influenced by the views or opinions they see and hear, no matter how poisonous, immoral or utterly fabricated they may be; The Iron Lady for example seemed to shine a revisionist good light on Thatcher with people choking on their popcorn in a rush to declare she was in fact a human.
You may remember in 2000 when the NOTW ran a campaign to name and shame convicted paedophiles. This resulted in their readers attacking a paediatrician. In 2001, The Sun ran a headline about Eastern European immigrants who were ”Ëhunting the dwindling population of Wallabies' (yes Wallabies) in Derbyshire. They later denied ever doing so.
But those of a certain age perhaps won't recall The Sun's reporting of the Hillsborough Disaster. 96 people needlessly lost their lives that day and The Sun subsequently ran a headline reading ”ËThe Truth: Some Fans Picked Pockets Of Victims, Some Fans Urinated On The Brave Cops, Some Fans Beat Up Policemen Giving Kiss Of Life.' This led to the people of Liverpool launching a ”ËDon't Buy The Sun' boycott campaign, which is still running stronger than ever in spite of a belated ”Ëapology' by the tabloid in 2004 (largely sparked by an ill-recieved exclusive interview with Wayne Rooney more than anything else).
So is this really the kind of place you want to get your kicks and news? I haven't even touched on the morally bankrupt and illegal phone hacking scandal that has given so much publicity to our national icons and stars like Heather Mills yet either (pronounced ”ËIvor').
I know for a fact that Kate Thornton doesn't read The Sun ”â you shouldn't either (pronounced ”ËEva').