Beauty and the Beast that is Body Dysmorphic Disorder


Elizabeth Taylor died last week aged 79. She was breathtakingly beautiful, glamorous and wildly seductive. Not too much on her fine acting abilities or compassionate nature but, boy, was she hot hot hot. Hotter than Cheryl Cole or red Rihannah. Hotter than photo shopping itself.


Beauty, you see, conquers all. Especially on the silver screen. Queen Nefertiti would so be in a bra war with Megan Fox.


But i have been more transfixed with the size of Chesney Hawkes’s mole in Buddy’s Song or Barbara Streisand’s nose coming out of her face like something from The Mask. A 3D nose before we had to wear the glasses.


Vanity? Looks-obsessed? Maybe. Doctors call it Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) or Imagined Ugliness Syndrome. They estimate up to one in 200 people suffer from it and sufferers ”“ who are generally pretty handsome or handsomely pretty ”“ believe they are hideously deformed and cannot be talked into thinking otherwise. Their nose is extraordinarily large, their breasts lopsided, their eyes bulgy, their penis too small, their skin resembling moon craters. Every tiny blemish is huge and disfiguring. They also notice imperfections on others. BDD has its roots in depression and scientists are investigating a genetic event and/or traumatic event from childhood.


I am currently writing my new feature film ‘Kick Bollock Scramble’ about the true story of Janey-Jo Jenkins who suffers from BDD and retreats to her bedroom and computer where the real ugliness begins. I suppose what attracted me to the story was my own battle with Body Dysmorphic Disorder ”“ something I’ve managed to deal with thanks to a little rhinoplasty. However, my journey into screenplay writing and ‘GlamourWorld’ has and will take me into areas that I’m not comfortable being in. Networking especially leaves me fraught with insecurities and exposed physically. How i wish i could jump on-stage like Mr Popstar and not give a damn.


Sometimes i work with very famous and beautiful actors and actresses. On the whole, they are genuinely nice people and say really positive things about my work. But the next step in my journey will be to do more self-promotion in order to seduce the eye of an investor and this fills me with dread. Saying ‘look at me, look at me’ is not just me.


I suppose it is why i started up my film page because i can hide behind it. I’d appreciate it if you took a look and press LIKE.

Thank you. And rest in peace, Elizabeth, you were truly beautiful in every way.






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2 comments on “Beauty and the Beast that is Body Dysmorphic Disorder”

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  1. just.

    its just so hard to explain
    how its just eating me away
    so many people talking
    just shouting everyday.
    its just so hard to listen
    to everything they say
    when they just shout an shout
    and just wont go away.
    its just i try to hear them
    and i try to make them hear
    but they shout an shout an shout
    and they are screaming in my ear.
    then sometimes they are quieter
    and thats just as scary too
    because they’re mean an hurting
    and they whisper ‘we hate you’
    and its just like chasing rainbows
    that you never ever get
    and its just like losing lovers
    that you never ever met
    and its just like treading water
    but your just sinking still
    and its like you just cant tell them
    and you never ever will.
    just wishing people felt it
    and just hoping that they dont
    just wishing they could hear you
    but knowing that they wont.
    just breathing out an in
    and out an in and out
    just hoping it will go away
    never having a doubt
    cos this is here forever
    its just ‘you’ through and through
    cos you are fucking ugly
    and theres nothing you can do.
    your just lucky you can see it
    and just lucky that you know
    just lucky that you caught it
    and it can never go.
    just imagine being happy
    and smiling as you walk
    and everybody laughing
    you stupid,ugly, dork.
    so your just lucky that you hear them
    so glad that they are yours
    just good you cant explain
    that you cry behind closed doors.
    just remember that they see it
    your disgusting ugly face
    just remember they’ll remind you
    its a fall quite high from grace.
    so just dont let them leave you lonley
    make sure that your not sussed
    cos we just know your ugly
    just just just just just.

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