An open letter to Justin Bieber

Dear Justin Bieber,

It’s quite odd you being a famous pop star as we don’t know anyone who knows what you sound like. Of course we know that music has little do with your appeal- which is that of a small, furry, cuddly toy sold to masses of prepubescent teenage girls who don’t know whether to sort of fuck you or pile you up with their other toys.

Every couple of years one of your types turns up- young, dumb and full of ho hum. You have a handful of hits, get screamed at, have a nervous breakdown and spend the rest of your life trying to piece it all back together again.

Your career seems to be a parody of the pop star. You appear suddenly. Get really famous. And then go a bit, how they say nowadays, bonkers.

Of course pop stars are meant to be stupid. No-one is looking to you for deep philosophical comment or, to be honest, any comment at all. Your job is to sing whatever hits you got, get screamed at and make someone loads of money.

That’s part of the job. Be dumb, and do what you’re told.

The trouble is with these short term, cuddly super careers is that the wheels come off pretty quickly.

Justin, it seems like you are slipping out of the squeaky clean pop star straight jacket. This is always not such a bad thing but in you case is looking like a disaster.

The latest slip is when you visited Anne Frank’s house in Amsterdam – which was unusual for a cuddly toy pop star but with all the crass arrogance of a pop star you signed the guest book and wrote that you hoped that Anne Frank would have been a ‘Beileber’- which is what your fans are termed.

For starters, it’s pretty big headed to assume that the young Anne Frank, if she was alive today, would have been a fan of your oeuvre but it also shows a startling and mind boggling lack of sensitivity.

Did you soak up any of the story of her life when you were in there? A life full of tragedy and suffocating sadness, because if you did and all you could manage to get out of the visit was that she would have been one of your fans is as stupid and blankly 21st century arrogant as it gets.

Maybe it’s time to take a few months off and have a think about things. It seems you are heading into Michael Jackson boy in the bubble disaster zone here. Justin, even if you meant no harm with your comment, come and join the rest of the planet before you end up in Never never land.


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18 comments on “An open letter to Justin Bieber”

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  1. It’s Anne Frank, not Ann. Other than that, spot on.

  2. Yet another ‘open letter’
    Which the intended recipient, or his audience, will never read.
    The contents of which states the glaringly obvious; even more so than usual.
    Come on John, focus your energies.
    I cannot be the only person on here reaching fatigue with their almost daily appearance.

    • I have to agree with Colin. They lose their impact if overused. We don’t learn anything from this article and worse still is a comparison with MJ, who was a genius. Bieber is just an arrogant little moron.

  3. I’ve never heard his music either, or this story of crass stupididy.. so thanks John, I leant loads. I’m a little worried about this Generation Zzzzzzzzzzzzz if this is one of their spokespeople!!! If they could just tear their faces out of their screens for a second, I can well see them waving at the passing cattle trucks.

  4. To be fair to him he’s basically a kid and most kids say and do stupid things but the difference is Bibble gets a media storm every time he goes for a shit.. I’m sure their are better people to write about.

  5. Robin Brunskill

    This made me laugh! I don’t think its meant to be anything other than a laugh surely… because.. if Brother John would do some research, I’m sure he’d find it all very interesting. I wrote a play about this sort of thing for one of my Master’s degrees, and doing the research was both macabre and fascinating. Basically, the music industry creates a “brand” and by that they mean a pretty young thing, male or female, who can sing and wiggle around a bit. This “brand” is sold to the young, and the “human” behind the brand is mind-controlled like a puppet. The “programming” was tried and tested by the CIA, and the “brand” lasts until the inevitable nervous breakdown/drugs/drink/theft from Bloomingdales. The “mind-control” is a much needed part of the process, because the “talent” must always be under control of the management. If the “talent” started to turn around and write/sing about REAL issues, then the “talent” could influence the public into thinking about more than wet dreams, and that’s a dangerous situation. But its equally dangerous for the “talent” to resist mind control. To quote Amy.. “they tried to make me go to rehab, I said.. no no no….” For rehab, read re-programming.

  6. Look this is how it went,- Public relations department “Hay bieber I have a great idea, Lets go to Anne Franks place and take some photos” Bieber “Is she hot?” Err “no she is dead, she died during the second world war by the Nazis”….. Bieber “Nazis…. Hay is that near Moscow? I have lots of fans there” .

  7. Robin Brunskill

    Ha ha John Doe you are right! Also, the one in PR who is a bit over-educated, (did PPE at Oxford).. will go… “Yes, because Anne Frank is the youth-brand mechansim of the Holocaust Awareness movment.Correct? if we match up the Anne Frank brand, with the Bieber brand… it will look like he’s digging deep about the issues.. you know? “

  8. Another great Open Letter. Spot on. keep them coming and ignore the sad trolls like Colin Cooper’s comments on here- the rest of us love these letters.

    • Dearest Jeff,
      The regularity and irrelevance of some of the open letters was my main point here.
      Did we really need one about how John feels about the people who stole his phone?
      ‘the rest of us love these letters’ you claim, clearly not given various other comments posted on FB.
      Unlike some of the blunt abuse posted by others on FB about John.
      I offered constructive feedback ‘focus your energies’.
      Not being sycophantic about every word John writes, does not make me a ‘sad troll’
      Regards Cx

  9. Poor old JUSTIN,oh well at least he has nice hair, not macabre at all.

  10. Great read and another spot on open letter. Always look forward to reading these.

  11. He’s always been a spoiled wanker so reading this doesn’t surprise me – although it is quite shocking. Good letter, it helps to understand just how moronic the new “celebrity” culture has become.

  12. “It seems you are heading into Michael Jackson boy in the bubble disaster zone here”
    Heading? Looks to me like his whole career/life/public image is being carefully stage-managed that way.

  13. Robin Brunskill

    @Jim… “looks to me like his whole career/life.pubilc image is being carefully stage managed that way”…
    That is exactly what goes on when the entertainment biz decides to create a “Brand.” But what can’t be created, is genius… So that’s why we get these “brand” people, without that spark of genius.
    The very process of creating the “brand” takes away the spark of genius.
    If you think about how Yoko Ono decided to move in on John Lenoon to creat the Ono/Lennon brand…. re-packaged cleverly as a great love story.. the genius of Lennon, DID diminish didn’t it?
    All brands are based on a lie… and as people get older, they don’t want that lie in music, so the brands are aimed at the young..

    Also, the Open Letters… they are entertaining and funny, an sometimes thought provoking, so whats the problem?

  14. The point was not that he is a brand, but that he is essentially the very same brand rebooted – Michael Jackson 2.0; right down to the sparkly gloves and the pet monkey. And yes the same argument you use with Lennon applies to Jackson – a genius destroyed by the PR machine that reinvented him. A fragile messed up, abused kid that grew up believing his own myth.

  15. Poor Justin, he’s just a young lad. And hey, he wore a Stranglers T-Shirt, so there is hope for the boy.

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