An Open Letter To Fracking Frack Inc About This Fracking Stuff

An open letter to Frackers everywhere,

Dear Fracking Fracker and Sons Limited and your parent company Fracking Frack Inc,

I doubt you remember that old football chant ‘you don’t know what your doing’ sung at hapless managers on some long lost, drizzly English winter afternoon -after all how could you know- the UK is just some other place to squeeze profit and oil out of with some dubious method of extracting the last bits of the black stuff from the deep underground.

You talk of jobs for the locals but we very much doubt the profits from your grubby muddling deep under the ground will be ploughed back into the community on a major scale- unless you give the profits of your endeavors to whatever town is unfortunate to being on top of your desperate underground messing like some kind of dark and desperate mining operation in a Hobbit film.

Of course, Fracking Frack inc, we always feel instantly suspicious when your strangely named companies descend upon our green and ghostly land and to be honest also on our less than green and ghostly land. This fracking affair is strange stuff with a whiff of desperation about it. The science seems fairly fast and loose and all a bit hazy and the very polite PR drones on the TV have been doing their monochrome best with things called facts.

Of course I’m no scientist but, to be honest, science doesn’t seem to come into this debate. To most people it doesn’t seem a perfect scenario that to retract oil from the bowels of the earth you have to blow up stuff deep underground.

I’m not sure about you but that does seems a bit vague and a bit dangerous. Of course we very much doubt there will be much fracking going on underneath your mansions in the USA but if you want to accuse us of being ‘not in my backyard types’ I would like to point out your fast and lose sci fi science is not going on here in my hometown of Manchester, where I live, yet.

What is this fracking stuff? Why are we the public, you know those random people on the frontline and like ants wandering around bemused above your dollar pits, confused asking the big money Frackers what this stuff is?

The term itself is an unfortunate shortening of hydraulic fracturing I turning engineering into a swearword. The idea is that millions of gallons of fluid – which is water, sand and mysterious chemicals including some grubby chemicals that some say cause cancer are injected underground at high pressure to fracture the rock surrounding an oil or gas well. This releases extra oil and gas from the rock, so it can flow into the well.

In theory that’s great stuff – more oil to waste and burn eh! But as well as pumping the dirty chemicals into the ground there are also lots of question marks flowing up. The very location of the operations is messy- urban areas sat nervously above booming sludge injections with a side order of lots of land to be cleared, new industrial areas to be built, heavy trucks and equipment moving round the suburbs driving the toxic waste in and out – not ideal is it?

In America all sorts of loopholes have been exploited to get fracking through and we wearily guess it will be the same in the UK- I wonder what would happen if Fracking came to diddy David Cameron’s lovely home counties retreat- would he embrace it with open arms and cheer the toxic lorries rushing past his front gate and embrace the large profits leaving in the back of other lorries and going into the bilging back pockets of the pantomime villains who runs big business and energy?

We have noticed recently that the whole affair has gone far more high profile now that, you, Fracking frack and Sons are planning to frack land near Brighton- that seems to be your big mistake- fracking ‘the north’ was not on anyone in government or media’s radar because of metropolitan arrogance towards the ‘frozen wastes’.

If Blackpool slumped into the sea because of some fracking fuck up little would have been said but now you are in the leafy suburbs of suburban England its all over the news.

Mr. Frack. We all know these are murky waters where the truth is the first casualty blown out of the way by some compound of water and filthy chemicals like murky, deep underground shales, I guess, Mr. Frack, you think it’s a shame you can’t blast away all the protesters with a squirt of water like you can with the deep underground strata. At the moment it’s all very polite and people are confused, something like the real truth would not go amiss here and maybe some long term thinking about energy…

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