50 more of the worst, most outrageous or just plain stupid band names ever…
50 more of the worst, most outrageous or just plain stupid band names ever…
Back in April 2014 we published an article detailing 50 bands and artists whose chosen moniker was so outrageous, offensive or just stupid; or even all three at once that the artists deserved some recognition. The article (here) has in a few short months gone on to be the most read, most shared and most tweeted piece Louder Than War has ever published.
As such we can take pride in having introduced the wider community to the aural delights of the likes of Abörted Hitler Cöck, Corpsefucking Art, I Shit On Your Face, and Scrotumgrinder – though even with the recent changes to allow streaming tracks to appear in the charts none of our gallant listed has yet to score a Top 40 entry.
Clearly, a section of our readership are themselves a twisted bunch as they bombarded us with names of bands they considered worthy of entry on to our listing; as such we were in turn introduced to SHITFUCKINGSHIT, Pre-Teen Pussy Pounder, Rectal Smegma, NewtDick, Cat Shit, Toad Turd Massacre, Rimjob Robert, Menstrual Fistfuck, The Anal Tag Team, Fetus Fucker, Vaginal Penetration Of An Amelus With A Musty Carrot.
What became very apparent was that certain genres really go for these sort of band names – there are probably are as many goregrind/pornogrind bands in the world as types of bacteria feasting on that lump of dog turd positioned right outside your front door!!
I’ve researched some of the suggestions sent in, however as I value my liberty I was VERY careful when searching for Mexican band PORNO INFANTIL (Child’s Porn), or TeenPussyFuckers…
So, with that I mind I have gathered together a further 50 of the worst, most outrageous or just plain stupid band names ever – again, the criteria for inclusion is that the band/artist must have released a ‘regular’ i.e. commercially available single, or album – so to be in our list a band had to have had a least one physical release.
1. Adolf Satan – A double hit of offence! The coupling of a heinous mass murdering lunatic dictator with the Antichrist himself – genius!! From what we can gather this two piece formed back in 2002, they put out a demo of their grinding metal before self-releasing the 3 track EP ‘Ooga Booga Cab Company’, this was followed by the full eponymous album via Bestial Onslaught Records in 2004. Research indicates that the demo and EP were re-released on vinyl by Limited Appeal Records in 2014
2. Anal Cunt – Omitted from the initial list, as…well I thought they were already so well known. Clearly they are, as I was swamped with posts demanding they be included; LTW is democratic so here they are. Anal Cunt, also known as AxCx and A.C., was an American grind core band that formed in Newton, Massachusetts in 1988 by Seth Putnam, who had previously been a member of bands such as Executioner and Satan’s Warriors. The name Anal Cunt came from Putnam’s attempt “to get the most offensive, stupid, dumb, etc. name possible” – he might have succeeded. Despite the name and lyrical content – tracks such as “Ha Ha Holocaust”, “You Quit Doing Heroin (Pussy)”, and “Religious Vomit” should set the tone; they released eight full-length studio albums as well as numerous EP’s and inclusion on compilations across the world. In an effort to avoid censorship and to perhaps persuade a record shop to stock them many of their album covers displayed the initials A.C. However; the band was clever, and even managed to subvert the abbreviation by drawing each letters in a manner resembling an anus and a vulva.
On June 11, 2011, the band’s frontman and founder Seth Putnam died of a suspected heart attack, ending the band.
3. Begging For Incest – Who said our German cousins didn’t have a sense of humour? Either that or this Cologne based Brutal Death Metal/Deathcore band need locking up; with lyrical themes covering such delicate topics such as gore, rape, and sexual perversity you might of thought they would have difficulty getting their music out to the masses? Wrong, releases such as 2008’s ‘Awaiting The Fist’ paved the way for their debut album ‘Orgasmic Selfmutilation’ which Inherited Suffering Records put out in 2012 which included tracks entitled ‘Gutted Like A Pig’, ‘Diarrhoea Dreams’ and the lament (not) ‘I’ve Got an Abhorrent Fetish’
4. Cattle Decapitation – Clearly not looking to appeal to the vegetarian/vegan market; Active death metal band based in San Diego, initially formed in 1996 and released the EP ‘Ten Torments Of The Damned’ via a small US label, this led to the debut album ‘Human Jerky’ on the fantastically named Satan’s Pimp label – this has been re-released 4 further times by labels in the US and Europe. Currently signed to Metal Blade Records who have since put out a further 6 six albums including the 5LP box set ‘Decade Of Decapitation’ in November 2014 – nearly all the bands output including T-Shirts are readily available via Amazon should you be interested.
5. Child Pornography – Really? Yes, it’s true, this Riverside, California based apparent experimental two piece band chose to call their artistic contribution to the world… Child Pornography. Finding any information about them is (clearly) fraught with danger, what we have found is that they formed in or around 2002 and unbelievably have been able to put out two full albums ‘The Beatles’ in 2003, and ‘She’s Got Legs’ in 2008 both via Deathbomb Arc Records who are based in Burbank, LA. You would imagine those loveable scouse mop tops may have sued…not as yet. Prior to this they put of the tastefully titled ‘Homosexual Cookies’ CD-R. They have also had split releases; a 7” with Sex With Girls via Hey Asshole Records.
I really don’t like the term Child Pornography; pornography is a regulated industry generally participated in by adults with knowing consent – what is all too often referred to as child pornography in the papers is in fact pictures of child abuse, children cannot knowingly consent. To therefore call your band Child Pornography is beyond belief; can you imagine any venue putting a poster up to promote your gig, would any record store willingly display your records – who the hell would wear a Child Pornography T-Shirt?
They did play live, a DVD was released of them playing at the Pixel Palace in 2006 = The bands most recent output was a split cassette with Kitty Midwife released in 2008.
6. Clitboys – The Clitboys;a 3 piece featuring Michael K (Vocals), Mike (Guitar), and Donny (Drums) hailed from Milwaukee and are perhaps best known for being name checked by the Meatmen in their track “Punker-ama” Having released a demo in 1982, they were signed to Feedback Records who put out the EP ‘We Don’t Play the Game’ which included the anti-homophobia track ‘Gay’s OK’ written by the band when a family member came out to widespread criticism. The EP was the bands sole release prior to their disbanding – however both were later bundled together and released on cassette via Ultrawaste in 2012.
7. Crazy Penis – Debated whether to include this electronic dance/house outfit, as they generally go under the moniker Crazy P; founder Chris Todd explains the name “A flat mate of mine had a record called ‘loco pinga’ which roughly translates to Crazy Penis, we were going to call ourselves loco pinga but once we told people that, they liked crazy penis better for the shock value” – the switch in name suggests it was too shocking for even its members. The band formed in 1995 when Todd and Ron Baron were studying at Nottingham University and were soon signed to Manchester based Paper Records. They have since released 6 albums, the most recent being ‘When We On’ in 2011 – this was remixed and re-released in 2013.
8. Cripple Bastards – Cripple Bastards first formed back in 1988. This Italian band was originally formed in Asti (Italy) by Giulio ‘The Bastard’ (drums) and Alberto (guitars, vocals) who at the time were 14yr old school boys, initially adopting the ever so tender name Grimcorpses. The band eventually decided to alter their style, change name and adopt a musical direction similar to popular noise core bands of the time, such as Anal Cunt – this lot are still very active having released the album ‘Nero In Metastasi’ (Relapse Records) in 2014. They have an enormous back catalogue of perhaps 20 full albums, and in excess of 40 singles, EP’s, and split releases
9. Diarrhea Planet – well established Cleveland based 6pc who describe their sound as “pop played through the filter of heavy metal” – back in 2009 they made available the free download ‘Aloha! EP’ which was grabbed 10,000 times and brought the band to the attention of label Infinity Cat Recordings who put out the full album ‘Loose Jewels’ in 2009 and led to appearances at the 2012 SXSW Festival proving that a shit (sorry!) name may not hold you back.
10. Dick Delicious and The Tasty Testicles – described as a comedy/metal band who initially formed in Atlanta, Georgia in summer 1992 going on to release three full albums before 2003 when Dick Delicious received the “Howard Stern Award for Musical Excellence” – the band celebrated breaking up shortly afterward, only to reform in 2011 with Grammy nominated guitarist Ruyter Suys from Nashville Pussy in the line-up – frontman Dick commenting “It is official, she is a Tasty Testicle now. I guess she is more of a Palatable Pussy than a Tasty Testicle, though”. The reformed band also featured members of Mastodon, and Brutal Truth. The results of this collaboration being the album -A Vulgar Display Of Obscurity” released on Slinging Pig Records
11. Dogshit Sandwich – Legendary street punk band from Birmingham, UK who were active between 1999 and 2004; Rich was the founding member and driving force of the band – he formed and ran the bands own label Punk Shit Records, promoted gigs, and ran a DIY distribution set up. The band released numerous 7” including the magnificent ‘Gary Glitter You Fuckin Cunt’ – they toured the UK, Norway and beyond before releasing their debut album ‘Murdering Bastards’ via Nottingham based Weird Records – the bands T-Shirts can still be seen at events like the Rebellion Festival.
12. Dying Fetus (sic) – Now that’s a name that would appeal to ever mother challenged with washing her introverted corpse painted bedroom dwelling teenage son’s T-shirt. Dying Fetus despite the tender name have forged out a highly successful career since their inception in Maryland, USA way back in 1991 – that said John Gallagher is the only the remaining original member, who stated that the band name was chosen while the members were themselves teenagers and was intended to be offensive…like that wasn’t obvious! In 1996, the band released their first album ‘Purification through Violence’, on the now defunct Illinois label Pulverizer Records, they since signed to and remain with Relapse Records who in 2012 released ‘Reign Supreme’ the bands eighth album, and a fine example of their world hating assault on the senses; all their material is readily available at the likes of Amazon.
13. Eccentric Toilet – Another non English speaking band, so again maybe we should forgive them for such an abysmal name… This eight piece death metal band hail from Bangkok, Thailand; first off, what do the eight of them do in a death metal band, how many grinding riffs can you produce? Anyway, gaining any information is difficult as the bands Facebook page is written (not surprisingly) in Thai; seems they released an EP ‘The Roar of Cerberus’ back in 2007 – nothing since, would you sign a band with this name? Still performing live in the Far East, though probably not selling may T-Shirts to the ex-pat crowd.
14. Enuff Z’nuff – Founding member Chip Z’nuff’s name rhymed with “enough.” And so a legend was born…this traditional hard rock band hail from Blue Island, Illinois; having formed in 1984 the band’s first single ‘Fingers On It’ received some recognition when it was featured in the 1986 cult movie ‘Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer’ – they were picked up by Atco Records in 1989 for their self-titled debut album. For their follow-up album, 1991’s ‘Strength’, they toned down their glam image, whilst the album collected some strong reviews, including Rolling Stone magazine calling the group ‘The Hot Band of the Year’ – this accolade did not benefit the band as they filed for bankruptcy shortly after. Later rescued by Arista Records, though the subsequent album bombed. Since then the band have continued to tour and release records, the most recent being the 2014 album ‘Covered In Gold’.
15. Foetus – the musical outlet of J. G. Thirlwell. He was born in Melbourne, Australia, where he studied art at Melbourne State College for two years before moving to London in 1978. After working with experimental group Nurse With Wound, Thirlwell started making his own records in 1980, initially releasing them on his own Self Immolation label. He was inspired by the post-punk explosion of creativity in the UK which engendered the accessibility of DIY, as well as the writings of John Cage and systems music, among other things. He relocated to NYC in 1983, where he still lives and works today Up until 1995 the band underwent various name changes, all including the word foetus, these included Foetus Under Glass, Phillip & His Foetus Vibrations, Foetus Art Terrorism, You’ve Got Foetus on Your Breath and Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel. Post 1995 the name permanently became Foetus, though Thirwell began The Foetus Symphony Orchestra in 1997 which continues to date.
Thirlwell acts as the sole instrumentalist, vocalist, songwriter and producer for all Foetus works and as such is the only member of the band. Other artists may occasionally collaborate with Thirlwell on Foetus works but are not considered members of Foetus; Thirwell himself guested with Marc Almond ‘Marc & The Mambas’ on this occasion he went by the name Jim Foetus and The Transvestites From Hell.
‘The Foetus Of Excellence’, was a box to hold all the Foetus 12″ and LP vinyl releases that had been issued up to that point in 1985 on Self Immolation, and included a ‘Foetus Of Excellence’ T-shirt, all designed by J.G. Thirlwell. Limited to 836 pieces, exactly enough to break even, it became the one and only object ever to make the UK pop charts, without any audio recording included!
It was sold as such and wasn’t free promotional material (specified on the box cover design: Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel + Foetus Art Terrorism + You’ve Got Foetus Under Your Breath + Foetus Uber Frisco + Foetus Over Frisco + Foetus Über Alles + Foetus Under Glass + Phillip & His Foetus Vibrations + Foetus In Your Bed + Foetus Flesh + The Foetus All Nude Revue + Foetus On The Beach; to date Foetus Über Alles, Foetus Flesh and Foetus On The Beach have not issued any material.
16. Full Blown A.I.D.S – You just can’t imagine entering a record store and asking for this one…but it’s true, they do exist and to date have released three slabs of vinyl, their debut ‘1st 12″ EP’ featured Seth Putnam (Anal Cunt) on guitar and vocals – Ltd edition of 247 of which 42 of the records are on coloured vinyl, housed in a tasteful sleeve featuring a dying male in a hospital bed, the ‘Leech 12″ EP’ followed in an equally gentle sleeve – both of these release’s sold out rapidly, and a debut album ‘Viral Load Double’ of just 222 copies followed, again on coloured vinyl and with a sleeve depicting a starving male crawling along the ground; fancy a T-Shirt – check out the rear print of the shirt to accompany the album!
17. Gay Cowboys In Bondage – Care is required when researching this long defunct Florida based punk band who released the EP ‘We’re Not Gay but the Music Is!’ and a follow up ‘Owen Marshmallow Strikes Again’ 7″ released in 1984 on Sublapse Records – if you saw a poster for Gay Cowboys In Bondage, how many of you would associate the name with a punk band, and how many of you would actually pay to get in – Clearly not many as they fell apart soon after. Long after the band split the EP and a demo were bundled together on the 2005 LP ‘The Complete Silly Discography’ (Burrito Records)
18. Goo Goo Dolls – Another huge band, and another crap name – that said its better than their original moniker, The Sex Maggots, rumour has it that a promoter heard the band and was keen to book them, however when he realised they were called Sex Maggots he changed his mind; the band panicked and randomly picked Goo Goo Dolls from a copy of True Detective magazine.
19. Idi Amin – Seems murderous dictators are a popular choice for bands these days; Hitler got a mention in the first post and Pol Pot gets a mention in this one. Maybe this hardcore 4pc from Roanoke, Virginia were keen to show their wider historical knowledge. The band were active between 1999 and 2002 releasing 4 singles including the 12 track ‘Allst Ars’ EP on Dwie Strony Medalu Records.
20. Limpwrist – Obscure US based homocore punk band, that seems to be a vehicle for the vocalist from Los Crudos they play raging hard-core punk, and the lyric – well they aren’t singing about gay rights, they’re glorifying in the acts of gay sex!
21. Lyin’ Bitch and the Restraining Orders – Denver based rockers certainly active up until 2007 when they released the album ‘Can’t Cum Within 100 Feet of Your Love’ via Fivecore Records, which included a cover of G.G Allin’s ‘Fuck Yourself’ which should indicate just how they sound – the album was reviewed by Slug Magazine – they hated it, this prompted an angry letter from the bands front woman which remains online to date.
22. Marijuana Deathsquads – a Minneapolis-based noise band with an electronic, improvised, experimental sound that most definitely challenges the casual listener. A 6pc who formed in 2009 and have to date released a 12” ‘Crazy Master’ and a follow up album ‘Oh My Sexy Lord’ via the Totally Gross National Product label – collaborators include Har Mar Superstar.
23. Meat Shits – Essential the vehicle for the blatantly homophobic Californian frontman Robert Deathrage, he formed the band in 1988 when joined by female bassist Scruff Muff. The band (and man) were known for their blatant homophobia with track title’s including ‘Sniper At The Fag Parade’ or ‘Homosexual Slaughter’, other themes included gore, horror and misogyny – not surprisingly Deathrage became the target for frequent violent attacks. Legend has it that during the Meat Shits second ever show (opening for Primus no less); a waitress went into a fit from Robert’s stage banter and subsequently died en route to the hospital. None of this reduced various labels willingness from releasing the bands output – they had at least 16 7” singles/EPs released by labels in Germany (Regurgitated Semen Records), Scotland (Psycho Mania Records) who released ‘Make Me Cum’ in 1993 and ‘Homosexual Slaughter’ in 1984 – the label also released a couple of Anal Cunt albums. The bands ‘Pornoholic’ 7″ was banned from sale to any person under 16yrs and had to be sleeve stickered accordingly, whilst the sleeve to the ‘Take This And Eat It’ EP featured a drawing of Jesus with an enormous ercection!
24. My America Is Watching Tigers Die – Post Hardcore four piece from Millford, USA that first formed in 2002 and up to 2008 released 2 EP’s and one full length album ‘Stone Age’ via Pluto Records. I have searched high and low but am at a loss as to any explanation for the name.
25. NǽnøĉÿbbŒrğ VbëřřĦōlökäävsŦ – Certainly the most pretentious name on the list, and certainly the only band I am aware of who hail from Antarctica!! This two piece featuring Wavanova (Bass), and Dark Dude (Bass) describe themselves as a drone metal band; Legend has it that these two scientists met in 2006 at an Antarctic research station on Ross Island “while studying carnivorous Antarctic predators” where they “soon realized that they had very similar musical tastes and were both experienced bass players” and recorded “the sounds of the universe between its phases of life.” All their material including the EP ‘Stars: A Comparative Study Of Astroillumination And Four Dimensional Spacetime’…catchy title eh are available on MP3 however they make the list as their 2014 album ‘Goodbye, Sol: A Voyage To The End Of Spacetime And Back’ gained a release – just don’t expect them to tour anytime soon. They also go under the equally appealing moniker Nanocyborg Uberholocaust , who have not released any physical product – this might be due to the fact that their last album, the eight track ‘The Ultimate Fate Of The Universe’ includes six tracks that each last for over an hour!
26. No Fucker – a D-beat band from Utica, New York. After the dissolvent of their hard-core band Deathbag this 2pc band decided to form a band that wouldn’t release records, they relented and in 2002 released the cassette ‘Peace, They Hate The Very Word!’ however by 2004, the no vinyl rule had fallen by the wayside, as two split EPs with Japanese idols Disclose materialized via Overthrow Records, before in 2006 the ‘No Fucker EP’ was released via No Real Music
27. Oh Shit They’re Going to Kill Us – Oh Shit They’re Going To Kill Us formed in April of 2003 in Franklin, PA, which is located approx. halfway between Pittsburgh and Erie, the majority of the band previously played in an anarcho/peace punk band called Opposition. In April 2004 they released their first full length record on Dear Skull Records. Oh Shit went into the studio in October 2008 to record the ‘They Love the Bomb / Do the Blitzkrieg’ 7″ EP, also on Dear Skull Records, which was released on February 6th 2009. In late 2008 Oh Shit entered the studio to record their second LP entitled ‘Cryptozoological Attack’, on Dear Skull once again, finally being released in summer 2009.
28. Pol Pot – We’ve already had Adolf Satan and Idi Amin in this list, so another genocidal lunatic will fell well at home; this tasteful name was chosen by three Spaniards who use the strapline “Our last target is hypnotism what exists, to turn everything into small, and swallow and decompose the time” – Make of that what you will. To date they have released two full albums, the debut ‘Whole Mystery’ being pressed as a limited edition on Go Mongo Records in 2011, this being followed in 2014 when the band put out ‘Strangeness’ again via Go Mongo Records on both CD and vinyl.
29. Präparation-H – Why would name your band after a medical cream for the treatment of haemorrhoids? I can only guess that the careful switching of the ‘e’ for the ‘ä’ would not connect the two…Can you imagine wandering round in a T-Shirt emblazoned with that moniker, anyway the US based Grind core band released their first single ‘Child Abuse’ – yep, it’s hard to believe but they did, and it came out via Anthropomorphic Records in 1995, clearly this one didn’t trouble the charts, it probably brought them to the attention of the FBI…despite this they went on to release 4 further split EP’s including ‘Cripple Bastards’ on labels in the USA, and The Netherlands before splitting in 1998.
30. Rektum – Apparently an East German 3-piece dissident punk band that had leapt the Berlin wall. They recorded an LP ‘Sakredanus’ and a 12” EP for hard-core punk label Manic Ears. Such activities attracted the press and resulted in live shows – at one such; in Bristol with Dr. and the Crippens, the band played live in Bristol to rave reviews – however in reality the UK press were duped by 3 actors hired to be the face of Rektum, and wrote the rave reviews, unaware of their true identity. This ruse was later revealed at The Reading Festival by a Manic Ears employee who confirmed Rektum to be the equally poorly named grebo band Gaye Bykers On Acid.
31. Romantic Gorilla – It’s a crap name, but it does have a certain charm to it…there is very little charm to the sound this long gone Japanese sub noise outfit, active from 1993 up until 1998 when US based label Sound Pollution released the eponymous album on CD only. Apparently a 4pc consisting of two males, and two females; Bass – Yabe Visious, Drums – Nakazizi, Guitar – Akiko, Vocals – Gori. Anyone able to offer up any information?
32. Spazz – those of us of a certain age will recall this being a playground insult, thankfully it’s a term now considered as genuinely unpleasant and has fallen out of use; not so for Chris Dodge, Dan Bolleri, and Max Ward who adopted the name for their Redwood City, California band which they formed in 1992 and for posterity recorded and released an armful of split EP’s, as well as their own singles including the 10 track ‘Spazz EP’ in 1993 via Slap A Ham Records, they went on to release the 1997 album ‘La Revancha’ – for interested collectors this one sold so well it was pressed three times, the second edition being the most desirable as the pressing plant used all the colours available (red, blue, purple, white / yellowish and green vinyl).
33. Sieg Heil – Japanese hard-core punk band, often referred to as Jiiku Hairo’ – the Japanese translation. Formed in 1984 when all the band members were still at school and by their own admission couldn’t play – they put out the demo tape ‘Nazism’ followed by a further eponymously titled cassette. The band had no real Nazi sympathies, but were just high school kids looking for a way to shock. Perhaps (rightly) being concerned about naming yourself after such an infamous salute the band members did not name themselves on the sleeves – apparently the guitarist didn’t learn the first time round as he went on to join The Spunky Boys. The demo tapes finally made it to vinyl and thereby qualified for our list when Overthrow Records released the 2006 album ‘First Demo Tapes’ – 750 copies were pressed, which sold out immediately upon release.
34. Smegma – The Greek word for ‘soap’ – can’t see Dove or Palmolive launching a bar with that name here the UK mind; most of us associate the word with both men and women who aren’t so keen on personal hygiene it being the word to describe a build-up of skin and other crud found between the foreskin and penis in men and the clitoris and in the folds of the labia minora in women – it’s pretty gross, so quite why an experimental group based in Pasadena, USA picked the name back in 1973 is open to speculation. Originally part of the Los Angeles Free Music Society (LAFMS) movement of the 1970s, Smegma is one of the few music collectives of that era still active today – they currently boast author Richard Meltzer as vocalist having joined in the late 1990s.
Smegma have a huge back catalogue, that includes collaborations with Nurse With Wound, Merzbow and NON; their most recent release being the ‘Mutant Stomps’ album (Helicopter Records) which was released in an edition of just 100 copies.
35. Spandau Ballet – Certainly the name of the biggest selling band on this list, no doubt a bad sales year for them would still double the entire lifetime earnings for all the bands combined on this list. Also, as a band name its pretty good – the name derives from gallows humour and refers to standard drop method hangings at Spandau Prison when the condemned would twitch and jump at the end of a rope as they were slowly strangulated; be ideal for a death metal band, less so for a bunch of bloated cockneys who have recently released the biopic ‘Soul Boys Of The Western World’ – you have to wonder if many of those dancing to ‘True’ on their wedding night have any concept of the band’s name.
36. Society Gang Rape – this lot could in theory get two entries in our list as they were initially entitled Sadistic Gang Rape; did they all sit down and discuss the name? Was it agreed that Society Gang Rape was more likely to get them bookings at their local venue? Guess we will never know – we can however look out for the 2 singles and 2 albums they released prior to their demise in 1997 including the curtain call of ‘No Fate’ (Sound Pollution Records)
37. Stone Temple Pilots – Proving that it’s not just obscure bands with crap names, that said the name isn’t so bad, it’s how it was chosen that merits addition on our list. Apparently one of the band thought the STP logo (Fuel additive) was cool, so they chose random words that fitted in!!
38. Swollen Ballz – Possibly the best name featured within this list? Whilst this bunch of Floridians did release the 2006 full length album ‘Franz Birdinhand’ (In Yer Face Records) they were actually a side project of the genuinely appallingly named Transient Wishlist; surely if you possess the genius to name yourselves Swollen Ballz then your primary name could be better? Anyway ‘Franz Birdinhand’ sounded fairly similar the power punk that TW offered, not sure if they are still going – they were certainly active up to 2013 when they uploaded new material to ReverbNation. More importantly ‘Franz Birdinhand’ is currently available at Amazon for 1p!
Mention must also go to Swollen Members – a Canadian hip hop group from Vancouver, British Columbia, who have been around since the late 90’s; the name was initially a joke, but the band stuck with it.
39. Suburban Kids With Biblical Names – Does being Swedish excuse the name? Their name comes from a lyric in the song ‘People’ by the Silver Jews; it should have remained a lyric – however it hasn’t prevented this long running indie pop outfit from releasing a slew of singles, EP’s and the 2005 album ‘#3’ on the still running Stockholm based label Labrador, the album proved popular as it was repressed in 2006 and 2007 by labels in the USA and Ireland. Not sure if they are still going, they certainly appeared at the Edinburgh Pop Fest in October 2010, but I can’t find anything more recent.
40. The Birds Are Spies, They Report to the Trees – I’m hoping you will excuse the name as English is clearly not the native language of this Norwegian scream outfit; released a total of two EP’s, the first being the 7” ‘The Single Series’ on the fantastically named Swiss label Ape Not Kill Ape, before German label Adagio830 Records released the 2007 eponymous EP – the bands Facebook page last posted in November 2014 which would suggest they are still going in some guise.
41. Treblinka – It’s almost beyond belief that any band would consider naming themselves after one of the most infamous locations on the planet, buts that exactly what this Swedish dark metal outfit did. Treblinka were founded in 1987 by Johan ‘Lucifer Hellslaughter’ Edlund, and Jörgen ‘Juck the Ripper’ Thullberg – am sure that’s not on their birth certificates! They existed for only two years, released two demo tapes and one 7inch, the infamous ‘Severe Abominations’ EP. The band later changed its name to Tiamat which continues to date. Since then the entire Treblinka recordings remained untouched by the band, just being heavily exploited by bootleggers all over the world, however in October 2013 major metal label Centaury Media announced a full release of ‘Shrine Of The Pentagramm’ as a Kingsize 3CD Mediabook, a Deluxe 5LP box set with LP sized booklet as well as digital download – the band name displayed complete with an inverted cross; maybe naming yourself after a Nazi death camp just wasn’t enough, lets offend the religious as well!
42. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start – Another US band, this math rock outfit formed in 1999 so I’m guessing the name refers to a Nintendo or PlayStation game cheat – either way its dire; that said it didn’t prevent the release of the single ‘And Nothing Is #1’ via OHEV Records. Clearly this lot knew the name was appalling, for they recorded an album titled ‘Worst Band Name Ever’ though this only seems to have gained an MP3 release in 2007.
43. Urine Cop – Just how do you come up a name like this? Surely any band must consider future posters, T-Shirts etc? Obviously this short lived US/Canadian three piece didn’t consider it, but if your label is called Fusty Cunt then does it matter what you call yourselves – described as a noise project, they released a sole 7” ‘Purple’ in August 2013 limited to 300 copies, all on light clear purple (almost pink) vinyl. Fusty Cunt deserves further mention as they released material by Priest In Shit from our Part 1 feature.
44. Vaginal Penetration Of An Amelus With A Musty Carrot – also known and displayed as VxPxOxAxAxWxAxMxC. First off, due to not being a paediatrician/pathologist I had to discover what an Amelus is – turns out to be a foetus born without limbs…nice! You know how audiences chant particular band names, “Let’s go Murphys” (DKM), “maiden, maiden” – that’ll be Iron Maiden, just which word from this Austrian bands name would you chose? Anyway, the music is generic extreme gore grind, though the vocals are so distorted they sound more like Porky Pig. Just one release (we think) the 2012 album ‘In Involuntary Abortion we Trust’ released through France’s Kaotoxin Records and featuring the track ‘Embryo’s Orgasm’.
Search Vimeo for the promo clip which features the drummer being kidnapped mid-performance, taken to a remote shack – he is then drugged, has a carrot (it had to be) shoved up his anus, his kidnapper then both craps upon and rapes him while he vomits all over himself, before being shoved into a box and presumably left to die. Careful where you watch this one!! . Lastly, in 2014 VP appeared on the compilation CD ‘A Fairytale full of Apotemnophiliac Moments’ – this featured possibly the most gag inducing sleeve I have ever seen (we are unable to publish it as one image within the montage is classed by UK law as (extreme pornography), and also featured Mexican band Teen Pussy Fuckers with guest vocals from Dutchman Erwin De Groot (see Urine Cop).
45. Wank For Peace – Would you wank for any other reason??? A current and very active French punk band; Wank For Peace started as a band back in 2008, since then they have released a few demo’s, 2 split 7” singles (with Mon Autre Groupe (Paris) and Prevenge (Montreal) and their first full length called ‘What Will Remain? was released in 2011. Despite the name they have played over 300 shows all over Europe and as far away as North America. In October 2014 Shield Recordings (along with a bunch other labels) released the bands second full length called ‘Fail Forward’.
46. When People Were Shorter and Lived Near the Water – When People Were Shorter and Lived Near the Water was an American experimental psychedelic rock band from New York City active from 1986 to 1996, probably most famous for being signed to Shimmy Disc. In 1991, the band released Porgy, an album of material from Ira and George Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess. Their third and final LP, 1994’s ‘Bill Kennedy’s Showtime’, was composed of songs by obscure or semi-obscure 1960s and 1970s Detroit rock and soul bands, a fourth album was proposed but never materialised.
47. White Shit – More of a studio project than a band, comprising members of Melvins, Murder City Devils, Big Business, Monorchid, Karp, Skull Kontrol & many more. To date they have released a split 12” with the equally subtle Megafuckers – was released via Limited Appeal in an edition of 480, 100 of which were on coloured vinyl, housed in a sleeve with artwork by Mike Guerena (animator for the TV show King of the Hill)
48. Xstabxyouxinxthexheadxandxeatxyourxfacexoffx – With that amount of X’s in the name they could only be a hard core band, would love to know if anyone ever got the name inked upon themselves; my guess being that even every member of the band would have baulked at such a suggestion. Sometimes known as Stab You – formed in 2001 in Connecticut, USA and first releasing the 7” ‘Destroy It Yourself’, this was followed by ‘Killin Toys’ and the 2008 album ‘Herbs Get Wet’ via Kill Normal Records who pressed the vinyl on both orange/black and white/black vinyl.
49. You Love Her Coz She’s Dead – Current Brighton based electro clash band built around a nucleus of Jay “Rocky” Dead (producer), and Elle Dead [Elle Procter, Elle Meurte]
50. 3-Way Cum – Long disbanded Swedish outfit active from 1993 to 1997 who released 3 singles and a sole album ‘Killing The Life’ in both the USA and Czech Republic, I particularly like the sound of track ‘Government Fartknockers’ – sadly I have not been able to locate a copy. They said goodbye in 1997 when they released the prophetic ‘The Last Cumshow?’ single via Elderberry Records (Sweden) – 3 tracks later reappeared on the self-titled 2001 7” reissue via Skit Records.
Sadly I was unable to verify if either Pol Pot Pouree, Adolf Krishnas Swami Army , or The High Heeled Hitler’s had actually released any records – that said Adolf Krishna’s Swami Army may well be Arturo from The Lurkers/999 in yet another guise.
So that’s another 50 – not sure if I want to know about any others I may have missed, just how much more offensive can a band name be? But, if you have any, or are even in a band with such a name, get in touch, send us your releases – but don’t forget each band must have released a commercially available 7″, 12″, LP, CD etc – doing half a dozen CD-R’s in your bedroom does not count as a record release!